#I meant the likelihood I text back or see you in person more than twice a month is VERY low

[southislandwren]

I deeply love the freshman but she just called twice to ask if could jump her car at a location 30 minute drive away, I am pajama’d and blind in bed . No I cannot dedicate over an hour of time when it’s already my bedtime because surprise, I wake up at fuckin 4:25 am 🙃

NO FUCKING WAY was I awake typing this godforsaken post and my other friend called me for 30 MINUTES!!!!! You fuckheads I work on a farm do not contact me after 7:30!!!! Arggghhhhhh okay goodnight and anyone else who calls me is NOT getting an answer I am asleep GOODNIGHT !!!!

[vidavalor]

Bucky flirting with Sam as part of the changing times theme in Ep 5...

This is on the long side. Contains brief mention of the show basically canonizing Bucky as a sexual assault survivor. It’s meta on Bucky and Sam’s identity themes and how the show is shifting into a theme of changing times with the latest episodes-- mostly about how Bucky’s journey is paralleling Sam’s, even while being a different kind of journey.

One of the more interesting subtle themes of Ep 5 is that while we have had a lot of emphasis in the earlier episodes on how much horror still exists in America-- and a very right, necessary emphasis-- as the show begins to pivot towards the part of Sam’s journey that involves him deciding to become Captain America, they are pivoting a bit to illustrate that as much as many things have, unfortunately, not changed the way they should have over time, a lot really has. (Also, the Sam-as-Captain-America thing isn’t meant to be a spoiler as I don’t really totally know if that’s the ending, it just seems um... really the only place this story is going...) They have been using Isaiah to illustrate this point for Sam quite a bit in Ep 5, especially. The core conflict comes from Isaiah believing that a self-respecting Black man wouldn’t want to fight for America after the horrors that have been done to Black people in its history, which is not something that Sam ultimately feels is true. He definitely feels the pain of Black history in America but he still believes *in* America and views it as his country and is accepting that everyone in it really has a role to play in making it live up to the ideals it espouses but has still yet to achieve. In deciding to appreciate Isaiah choosing to open up to him and share his story but respectfully disagree with him on what to do next-- and to have his ability to make this choice reinforced by Sarah supporting him by saying she knows he will choose to fight in the fights he believes in and she has his back-- Sam is choosing to become a symbol of something, even if he’s just a man, and he’s affirming to himself that it is okay for him to believe in this thing he believes in. It’s okay for him to believe in America and love America and what it stands for, even in all its extremely imperfect glory, because he can be the change he wants to see in the world. He knows there are many people who will support him in that and that it only happens if we make it happen and that America, in all its imperfection, has made a lot of positive change happen throughout its short history. 

You know who else is enjoying similar truths in the same episode? Bucky. 

Bucky arrives in Delacroix all “Hello, 21st Century! I’ve always wanted to flirt with a man in public! I will be over here, lifting heavy stuff and getting in the personal space of your next Captain America, Good People of Delacroix, Louisiana!” What’s so endearing about this is not even just that this is clearly the first time that Bucky has felt like he has some control over his own mind, after proving he can manage The Winter Soldier in him a bit in the last few episodes, but that he’s working towards this kind of peace in a time where he really no longer has to hide any part of himself. Long before The Winter Soldier, Bucky was so the guy with a girl on each arm and a guy in the dark of the back alley. He has never, in his entire century-plus of living, been able to really be who he is without fear. It’s not as if there is not any fear left for LGBTQIA people in the world because, sadly, of course there is but loving Sam would have gotten Bucky arrested twice over in the 1940s. Interracial marriage was illegal until the Loving Act of 1967-- and that was still just for heterosexual couples. Obviously, same-sex marriage wasn’t legalized in the U.S. until 2015. If Bucky had been caught with a man in his youth, let alone a Black man, they both would have been arrested. Even if they were let go (and Bucky would have been more likely to suffer less, on account of being white), their reputations and ability to work and serve in the military could have been impacted. 

The show toys with this with Bucky’s interest in exploring it, even through the haze of a lot of severe trauma, back in Episode 1. While he’s mainly eating at the sushi bar because he’s befriended Yori on account of his amends project, he is living in a very modern existence by regularly conversing with these two. Consider that the show chose to make both of them Japanese, basically to illustrate that Bucky, in a sense, was always progressive for his time period. Bucky *could* have been the kind of WW2 soldier who forever saw people of the countries the Allies fought against as an enemy-- your grandfathers and great-grandfathers who never stopped hating the Japanese. But he’s not. He actually comes off as someone whose inability to fit the mode of the heterosexual white American guy in his own time period lent him a lot of empathy towards others and I might be wrong about this because I can’t quite recall at the moment but wasn’t he drafted, as opposed to enlisted? It’s doubtful he even really wanted to fight, although he’s always up for a fight against a bully and clearly hated the Nazis (but wanting to fight fascism makes you far from intolerant.) My point is that Bucky, back in Ep 1, is already experimenting with how living in the 21st century could be a positive thing for him in a life he might want to make for himself, if he can get through his trauma enough to do so.

He eats lunch on the regular with a man who is, in all likelihood, descended somewhere from at least one person who fought on the enemy side to Bucky in WW2. He regularly chats with Leah, who is completely unlike anyone he would have been able to talk to in the 1940s and seems almost designed to be *exactly* that intentionally-- she is a woman with a job that wasn’t like a nurse or a teacher or Peggy Carter lol. She tends bar, a job that was virtually exclusively male in the ‘40s. She has open visible tattoos and is probably putting herself through college-- something that women were just being able to attend, usually in female-only settings. She makes her own money and lives as a single woman, likely without the express intention on getting married and having a family relatively soon. (There’s nothing wrong with any of that. It’s more just that it would have been the exception, rather than the norm, in Bucky’s youth.) Atop that, she is Asian and works in a Japanese restaurant-- the ultimate business that would have suffered during the ‘40s as America didn’t exactly do right by its Japanese-Americans during the war and if Bucky, a white soldier, had been seen with a Japanese girl, it would have been bad for him but worse for her. 

So the reason why Yori has noticed that Bucky always looks at Leah when they eat lunch is probably less about the attraction Yori assumed Bucky had for her and more that Leah is this personal fascination for Bucky-- a human being who is basically the total embodiment of everything that has changed in the world since Bucky was last freely a part of it. Yori assumes Bucky wants a date but Bucky really wants what he ultimately got out of it, which is more just to talk to her a bit. 

They also play Battleship, which is kind of darkly funny. The game originated after WW1 and used to be played on paper. It soared into popularity in the 1930s and has never stopped being popular ever since-- so, in essence, the game they play is the one part of this that, like Bucky, has been in existence the whole time. It has taken on different forms, though. It became a plastic board game in the ‘60s and has been modernized a few times but it’s still here. (It’s also funny that Bucky is kind of losing the game with her, symbolizing that he’s not entirely figured out this whole modern world yet, even if he’s very interested by it.)

But the big thing is that Bucky is beginning to edge away from just observing this new world and trying to decide how he wants to participate in it. He’s basically decided that he might like to and while his heart is completely with Sam, he’s also afraid of himself and his ability to potentially destroy that one really strong wish he has to be with him, so he’s pushing him away by not answering his texts. He’s likely also, atop insecurity in himself, literally terrified at the idea of hurting Sam not just physically-- through some nightmare or some untapped Winter Soldier potential or failing to protect him-- but through the fact that he’s a guy from the 1940s who has literally never openly dated a man, had Black friends during the war but that was decades ago and is not really sure how to do this. 

Forced into a date with Leah, he experiments with the modern world in a way because he’s here because sure, he likes her and all but he was more just interested in her world than her personally and he just didn’t want to disappoint either her or Yori, so he showed up. She seems fairly trustworthy (and he trusts no one but Sam and Yori, so that’s a start) but what he wants really is to say aloud to someone for the first time that he likes men. To see how that goes in this modern era. (Depending on how you take Bucky and Steve, he could have put this into words to Steve at one point, likely way back when, but it’s also possible that they both just knew and didn’t talk about it. Either way, you didn’t go around telling people you didn’t trust in the ‘40s and it’s doubtful that he’s ever just said it to anyone and for sure not on a regular basis.) 

He even knows that this wouldn’t be a deal breaker for a woman, necessarily, in the modern era, which is probably blowing his mind a bit because you would have been hard-pressed to find a woman who would admit to someone she didn’t implicitly trust that back in the ‘40s and it wouldn’t have been so open and accepted. What he really wants in Leah is a new friend and she seems to sense that-- she likes this weird guy with the circulation problem that is nice enough to lunch with the old man at her restaurant, he seems okay enough, if broody and sad, so why not talk to him for a bit? She totally thinks he’s just a closet case (she’s not wrong lol) and won’t really be crushed by him rushing out of the date beyond like “too bad, he was pretty hot” but for Bucky, this is the likely the first time he’s ever casually chatted with another human being about his attempt at finding a guy he likes. 

It’s actually really sweet in that he’s still sort of coding it a bit, if not that much. He’s still a bit nervous about this so he’s saying tiger pictures to reference men so he can say it without saying it. Leah gets it and just kind of rolls with it and probably has zero idea how big a deal it was for the century-old guy sitting at the bar. 

He might have been intentionally dramatic a bit about how it was all “a lot” but he was also telling her the truth-- he did a little exploring online. Found some men. It looked like a lot of work to stroke all these egos. Bucky’s for the modern world but he’s kind of into more old-fashioned guys. He’s got a warm-hearted soldier kink. Family man kind of guys with generous spirits. He’s considering online stuff because he’s also a guy who has been through an absurd amount of trauma-- some of which the show will just come out and say involves sexual assault, off that Selby scene-- and he’s probably considering trying to get beyond some of it by just having sex with somebody. It’s not at all an uncommon response for people who have been raped to try to get beyond it by just having sex again and you know this is yet another level of anxiety for him when it comes to the idea of having another chance at life. He’s nervous around himself at this point and doesn’t fully trust himself, so he’s not sure how he can trust other people and the one guy he *does* trust and *does* want? Bucky has that whole ‘don’t want to burden him with my own issues’ thing happening. (That’s not a bad thing when it’s a situation of expecting your partner to be your therapist, which shouldn’t happen but Bucky would and should have expectations that someone he’d have as a romantic partner can be someone he can trust to care about him and be sensitive to how his past plays into his present needs, in and out of bed.) He’d trust Sam with this but he also wants to be like... he basically feels like he met the potential love of his life while trying to kill him and just got his mind back and the timing is all wrong. It’s a lot of ‘too broken for Sam’ self-narrative. 

Whether or not Bucky actually went beyond scrolling and being astounded at the unattractive insecurity of tiger pictures or whether he hooked up a time or two, it’s clear he didn’t get what he needed out of it and he gave up on it, admitting to himself that he’s really basically a tired old romantic who wants love and trust and the whole dance of things and that kind of intimacy more than the back alley casualness of online dating. This is about as far as Bucky has gotten while trying to deal with his trauma while having a truly terrible therapist: he likes sushi now and would like to have his life’s first real chance at an open, mutual, loving, romantic relationship. He just didn’t know how to get himself there. 

John Walker and the shield issues actually, ironically, gave him scenarios where he could, through actions that suited him better than those his therapist had assigned. He needed to learn not to not hurt anyone but how to manage it when he did. He needed to learn how to be a soldier that protects people again, not the Winter Soldier, and that he can control that part of himself. He needed the opportunity to show Sam that he really does care, he’s just a grieving mess of a man working through being so out of time and secretly scared that he might like this time better, might have a chance at being who he is for the first time, and he doesn’t know quite what to do with that. He lets Sam in enough that they can show one another that they understand each other’s traumas. He tosses himself out of a plane for Sam in the first episode to prove he’ll follow him anywhere, that he’s strong and will survive and come back, knowing about Riley not being alive when he hit that ground. Sam responds by seeing Bucky essentially frozen in a PTSD moment of the train car on the side of that truck and grabs him out of danger. They snark and bicker but the actions speak louder than the words-- there’s caring there and want and a sense that they’re a bit gone on the other. 

Sam’s trust in Bucky-- even as Bucky is still learning how to trust himself with himself-- gives Bucky a confidence boost that he was missing when he pulled away from Sam out of fear of hurting him. The whole White Panther/White Wolf scene? Sam expected Bucky to grumble or blush, he was for sure flirting with him but didn’t expect quite that amount of flirt back. Without realizing it, he had hit on the exact part of Bucky’s identity that was giving him the biggest boost, that he understood the best at that time-- the White Wolf. The White Wolf is the freed Winter Soldier, a peaceful tender of goats, a wounded warrior beloved by a community who rescued him. He represents Bucky’s recent past into his present-- being able to work for the chance to shake loose the Winter Soldier and evolve into a different version of himself. He wanted to impress Sam with that-- he saw Sam’s flirting and parried back, which he didn’t always do, because he knew it would be impressive that the Wakandans had given him a (pretty sexy actually) nickname. He’s boosted by Sam still flirting, Sam still caring, still seeing something in him he’s working on seeing himself. He has some hope, even as they fight, because his attempts at getting closer to Sam are not being rejected wholesale and Sam keeps reaching out to him, often literally. After Madripoor and after Bucky going after and finding Zemo, he feels more ready. He’s more in control of himself. He thinks he has a path to getting beyond the worst of this stuff and he might not have worked out all the details yet or figured out what it looks like but he finally feels ready to try and since Sam hasn’t rejected him, he’s going to take Yori’s advice, just with the right person and stop waiting around, stop just looking and make a move. 

In a way, Sam is introduced to 1940s Bucky for the first time in Delacroix-- this is the guy he saw glimpses of but was pretty deeply buried. He’s not reverted back to the Bucky of old as how could he, after all he’s been through? But this is the flirt, the natural charmer and he’s been set free for real for the first time, without worry or fear that he can’t live a life he wants and be the person he truly is without fear of rejection of who he loves, his family and the community at large. He likes this place that is the exact opposite of everything he’s suffered-- it’s so warm, he’ll never feel frozen again, physically or emotionally. The people here don’t care about his arm or who he loves, Sam’s family has Sam’s big, warm heart and Sam? Well, Bucky’s enjoying making him a little flustered. You like that stealthy White Wolf, Sam? Well, he’s got his eyes on you. ;)

Maybe the best part of this being the parallel to Sam’s decisions about how he wants to identify when it comes to him deciding to take up the shield is that it relates to a sense of freedom that is at the core of both of Sam and Bucky’s stories and is the whole point of Captain America and how it is supposed to symbolize a fight against fascism. Bucky has been told twice in the series that he’s “free” and each were, in a sense, a bit true. Ayo tells him this when he’s free from mind control and that is a major move forward for him-- life-altering-- but he’s not free from the trauma of it. Dr. Raynor tells Bucky that he’s free now and can build whatever life he wants but we see on Bucky’s face how those statements for him, in those early episodes in New York, really are conflicting ones-- he is free from mind control but still imprisoned in his trauma and that is what is keeping him from making the life he wants. Over the course of TFATWS, alongside Sam’s journey to decide how he wants to feel about America as a Black man and what he feels he owes to the country and the country owes to him, is the story of Bucky having to build his own identity as well. The Falcon and The Winter Soldier is ultimately what these guys were-- the identities they still have at the beginning of the show. They’re going to end it Sam and Bucky, Captain America and the White Wolf. Bucky’s real sense of freedom only came when he realized he could trust himself to decide how he wanted to live, when he proved that to himself and took control over it. He’s still not completely fine-- no one really is, ever-- but he has a path now. Sam and Bucky have different identity conflicts but ultimately, at the core, their struggles with them and with what their country has asked of them and with how they want to live and what they want for themselves, is very similar and the core of a lot of why they understand one another well. 

It wouldn’t surprise me if we find out that Bucky stopped answering Sam’s texts when Sam suggested he come to Delacroix. Bucky knew about the boat when he got there, the same way that Sam knew about Bucky’s nightmares, so these two were talking a lot, they were friends on a verge of more but both knowing they each had too many struggles to overcome first and I think that Sam had to have been trying to reach out and accidentally went too far. It’s kind of like in the therapy session-- most of the time, Sam is amazing at dealing with people who have been through trauma but he sometimes falls off his game with Bucky. The whole “this is what you wanted, right?” in the therapy session is frustration, it’s pushing a little too hard, it’s snarking over feeling like Bucky rejected him romantically, even if Sam understands why and probably wasn’t convinced they were ready for it anyway. It’s possible that Sam thought inviting Bucky home with him would be good for him-- and the sun and the Wilsons would have been-- but, at the time, it just made Bucky panic, which is then also why Sam just rolls over the fact that Bucky hadn’t been returning his texts when they see one another again. Sam kept reaching out to check on him but accepted the non-response because he felt like he might have kind of pushed Bucky too fast. They both know they both have feelings for one another but are scared by how much the other has to get through to get to that point and feel ill-equipped to really help one another, often blunder in their attempts to (and other times, get it just right.) 

So, yeah. There’s still no shortage of conflicts to be dealt with but alongside Sam finding his path to living his truth in this modern world has been Bucky’s arc from daring to whisper about tiger photos to showing up to show off his prowess with heavy stuff and tools to win over his boyfriend in front of his family and hometown. It’s not subtext. It’s literally Bucky’s identity-themed character arc, existing in parallel to Sam’s. Just because they aren’t giving it a ton of labels does not mean that it isn’t the intent of the story. 

[dessarious]

Broken Harmony Pt28

Inspired by @ozmav Maribat AU

Master List 1   Master List 2    Prologue   Beginning   Previous   Next

“Mlle. Bourgeous.” Chloe and Marinette stopped talking when Bruce addressed her. She straightened back up, defaulting into her original demeanor. It was a front when she felt threatened, similar to his if he was honest.

“M. Wayne.” Her tone held wariness and Damian could tell she was expecting a less than warm welcome. He wasn’t sure if that was just because it was what she was used to or because she was expecting it from Bruce specifically. Marinette rubbed the girls back soothingly and he caught the confused look that passed between her parents. 

“Would you like to join us for dinner?” No one expected that least of all Chloe. She physically recoiled and looked about ready to decline but Marinette spoke up first.

“I’d really like to catch up if you don’t have any other plans.” The poor girl looked like she’d woken up in an alternate dimension. Apparently that lost look moved Marinette’s parents enough for Sabine to go into mom mood. She walked up to Chloe and put an arm around her shoulders.

“We’d love for you to join us” Tom gave her an encouraging smile and she looked like her brain melted.

“Okay.” Before she could think about it or reconsider they were all seated in the dining room. She still looked extremely uncomfortable but didn’t appear to be ready to bolt anymore. She was situated between Sabine and Marinette and kept inching closer to the latter as if afraid Sabine might turn on her. Given what she’d said about being a bully he could understand why.

“So Marinette have you given any thought to what school you want to transfer to.” He watched his soulmate blink in surprise at the question before her cheeks turned pink.

“No actually. Between making your gifts and talking to the ‘not sisters’ there wasn’t a lot of time. Besides, I’d like to get to know Damian better first because I have a feeling he’ll go with whatever I want but I want it to be a school he actually likes too.”  The boys awed over her sweetness while Damian rolled his eyes before Dick hooked into the other thing she said.

“Wait what do you mean ‘not-sisters’?” Damian scowled before answering.

“Babs decided to hack into Marinette’s computer so she, Steph, and Cass could see her.” The boys erupted into complaints that the girls got to meet her first but Bruce just let out a sigh, running his hand down his face in annoyance. “I told them it was an unacceptable violation of privacy, and that holds for you lot as well.” He pinned each of his brothers with a glare, lingering on Tim.

“I feel insulted that you believe we would resort to such tactics.” Tim’s words were only met with another glare. Bruce stepped in before it could go further.

“Marinette is Damian’s soulmate. They will decide what safety measures to take and we will abide by them. They do not need our interference or meddling. It will also be up to Marinette to decide what she wishes to share with us.” He stared down each of the boys in turn but also lingered on Tim.

“Oh come on, you act like I’m the only one who does research. Besides you’re the one that asked me to clone her phone.”

“You did what?” Damian’s voice was soft but the other boys flinched. Bruce just gave a tired sigh.

“I figured there were things on it Marinette would want later so I had Tim clone it so we could give the actual phone to the police but she would still have everything. After what happened tonight I think we can all agree that giving them the only copy of that harassment is a bad idea.” There were nods and grumbling from around the table but Chloe turned to Marinette.

“What harassment?” His Angel’s cheeks flushed pink again.

“It’s really nothing. They were just getting out their frustration.”  Her words had the effect of a bomb going off. Denials were shouted from almost everyone present. Damian was fairly certain he heard Jason muttering about getting his guns while Sabine said something in Mandarin that almost made him blush. It was Tom that let out a piercing whistle to get everyone’s attention. His wife shot him a surprised look but the rest simply dropped their grumbling to a reasonable level.

“Sweetheart, Bruce showed us those messages before he left last night. That’s not frustration. They were threats and worse and you didn’t do anything to deserve them.”

“Can I see the messages?” Everyone seemed surprised by Chloe’s request.

“I don’t see how that could possibly be a good idea.” Bruce’s words pushed the girl back into her ‘holier than thou’ mode. Damian could practically see the superiority dripping from the girl.

“Because I know them and unlike Marinette I don’t have a romanticized view of those losers. I can tell what is out of character or not and tell you the likelihood of them acting on those threats because I’d be willing to be not all of the are idle. If I’ve learned anything about Rossi it’s that she’s capable of getting people to do things they wouldn’t otherwise. The only people she hasn’t managed to corrupt in some way are Marinette and myself. Adrien knows she’s a liar and she still somehow got into his head enough to make him think this is acceptable and that Mari is the problem.”

Marinette was frowning in thought while the boys tried to dissuade Chloe from wanting to look at the phone. Damian could tell they were just putting her back up more but didn’t see anyway to fix that so he just stayed silent.

“She’s right.” Everyone was silenced by Marinette’s soft words. She looked at Bruce and they could all see the pain in her eyes. “Chloe has both an inside and outside perspective of the situation that’s invaluable. I’m too close to the situation and you’re all too far away. Chloe’s the best bet we have to stop anyone from doing something foolish and making things worse.” 

Damian watched as his father contemplated her words. His brothers just looked at each other. He had a feeling they were trying to come up with another argument. Marinette’s parents were both oddly blank so he had no idea what could be going through their heads. Chloe was just staring at Marinette in shock. She obviously didn’t expect anyone to agree with her.

“Thank you.” The words were soft but the feeling behind them made Damian think they weren’t just meant for this one instant. 

“Tim, give her the phone.” Tim looked like he was going to argue but Bruce’s face made him think twice about it. “We can’t afford to leave resources on the table right now. If Marinette is willing to trust her then that should be good enough for the rest of us.” Tim gave an annoyed grunt but did hand over the phone.

Chloe made sure to angle herself so that Marinette couldn’t get a look at the screen, which Damian was grateful for, before unlocking it to look at the messages. The more she read the more shocked her expression became before turning sickly. He had a feeling she got to the one with the detailed suicide instructions. She handed the phone back to Tim looking a little queasy. 

“I’d say the immediate physical threats would come from Alya, Adrien, and Kim. The rest don’t seem likely to take action on their own, but it won’t stop them from ganging up on Mari or trying to intimidate her through texts and social media.”

“Why those three?” It sounded like a normal question but Damian could tell Tim was using it as a test. Chloe sighed and rubbed her temples.

“Kim used to think he was in love with me and despite my showing no interest and being a bitch actually thought he had a chance. Judging from the tone of his messages he’s transferred that infatuation to Lila and she’ll use it to her advantage in any way she can. The idea to go after Mari would come from her but it would be Kim that’s the most likely to act on it. Adrien…” She paused and looked to be holding back tears. Marinette put a comforting hand on her arm and she took a deep breath before continuing. “His messages are extremely possessive. It’s clear that he considers Mari his property and is not going to react well to her leaving or doing anything he hasn’t approved of. As for Alya, she’s the most volatile. She’s always been brash and jumped into things without thinking but with Lila there to stoke the fire and aim her negative feelings I’d say she’s the most likely to get akumatized and go after Mari beside’s Lila herself.”

Damian had to admit she made a good case and given the interaction last night with Adrien he knew she was right about at least one of them. Marinette was right, Chloe would be a good asset in this battle. Tim looked like he wanted to argue but Damian caught his eye and shook his head. None of them knew these kids well enough to contradict Chloe’s opinion.

“What do you think Angel?” Marinette started a little at his question before looking at Chloe. The two simple stared at each other for a minute before she gave a  small, tired sigh.

“I trust her judgement. I know she’s right about Adrien and as much as I don’t want to believe it of the others my judgement is compromised and I know Chloe’s head for politics makes her more observant and analytical than the average person. If that’s who she thinks is a threat then they are.”

He could tell how much it hurt her to say those words and admit that people she once considered friends were a threat. He wrapped an arm around her and she leaned into his shoulder thoroughly drained. The rest of the table was murmuring about precautions and threat levels but he just wanted to concentrate on his soulmate and offer what comfort he could. It was actually kind of peaceful. That didn’t last.

“Little M! I didn’t expect to see you here, how have you been?”

Master List 1   Master List 2    Prologue   Beginning   Previous    Next

Tag list for Broken Harmony

Thanks for all the positive responses! Here’s the tag list I’ve go so far. If I missed anyone let me know.

@crazylittlemunchkin @iggy-of-fans @captainmac6 @shizukiryuu @origami-dreams @yamadochie @drama-queen-supreme @miraculousbelladonna @mjisntme @zebrabaker @driftingmoonlitpetals @slytherinhquinn @politelyvicious @mystery-5-5 @constancetruggle @synnesstra @im-here-for-the-content @slytherinsheashire  @myriad-of-passionate-pettiness @cyborgcandy @rhub4rb @satans-favorite-homo @beautym3 @ayuchan07 @zalladane @moonlitarchangels @mooshoon @mindfulmagics @saphiraazure2708 @chrismarium @worlds-tiniest-spook-pastry @tog84 @littleredrobinhoodlum @cupcakeandkisses @kiara-rose-blackthorn @moonlitarchangels @graduatedmelon @lunar-wolf-warrior @tbehartoo @zoerayne2426 @ellerahs @heaven428 @my-name-is-michell @unabashedlyswimmingtimemachine @myownworldstayout @alexzandria-747 @k-rena-k @vivilakitty @redscarlet95 @un1cornf1ghter @bookreader20003 @nataladriana9 @resignedcatservant @blue-peach14 @royalchaoticfangirl @melicmusicmagic @dani-ari @captain-rice @magic-miraculous @valeks-princess @fiendsangelical @chloe-bourgeois-is-big-gay @ladylb @vixen-uchiha @spicybelladonna @asteriodd @thatrandomfandomsgirl @laurakinneylance @casual-darkness @sam-spectra @romanoff-queen @ki117h3dr4g0n @thequietestlilbucket @silvergold-swirl @alwaysnumberonetruth @bigcheeseyboi @alexresides @grandmaveitch @bluefiredemon @emjrabbitwolf @brinxiethebear @xxmadamjinxx @shadowberrybinch @tinybrie @t-nikki10 @yuuki-uzumaki @kurogaya913 @roseinbloom02 @7-sage-7 @northernbluetongue @violatiger8 @schrodingers25 @sassy-spocko @lysslovsanime @jessigurl-design @danielslilangel @creator-josie @skystarssun @kuhakuanon @tritaledkitsune @interobanginyourmom @kandi-pie @eliza-bich @asianfrustration13 @two-faced-biatch @goggles-mcgee @asianfrustration13

[nony314]

And They Were Roomates : chapter 1

(A/N: I have no idea if inserting a read-more is possible on mobile and I don't have a desktop at the moment so I truly apologize if this is just a wall of text. If you know how to do this, let me know? Thank you!)

This day had started out with so much promise, Kagome thought with a heavy heart. She was standing on her new balcony-- that is, the balcony of her new apartment-- with her cellphone pressed to her ear. 

"No, no… really, I understand!" She insisted again.

"I'm so sorry Kagome! I swear I would never even consider it, unless it was something incredible..."

"Stop apologizing, Sango! This is huge! You should be celebrating, not apologizing." Kagome pressed her lips to prevent a quiver. She was happy for Sango, but she couldn't help but be disappointed for herself. They were supposed to share this apartment together, until Sango landed her actual dream job. Taijiya Games had offered her a developer position on their newest title, and although Kagome barely knew what that meant, she knew Sango had all but given up on getting a job that good until now. There was no way in hell she'd make Sango feel guilty for taking the opportunity, even if she had to go to the UK for it. "You're going to be great! Even I'll play your game, I swear,"

Sango sniffed, and chuckled at her enthusiasm. "Thank you so much for understanding, Kagome. The second I get back to Tokyo we'll go--" the line cut out, and Kagome pulled her phone from her face to find the sign off logo filled the screen. The battery was dead. 

She stood alone on her balcony, watching the sun set over the city. This view was beyond gorgeous, which only made all of this harder. She'd saved up as much as she needed for her own half of the rent, but without Sango's half, she wouldn't be here long. It'd be faster to sub-lease it instead of finding another roommate, and that's what she'd start on tomorrow. For now, she just enjoyed the view, although it was a little blurred with tears. She wiped them away, but paused when a strange noise came from inside her empty apartment.

<!--more-->

<p/> Looking in, there was almost nothing but stacks of boxes against every wall. The sun had just dropped below the skyline, casting the entire room in eerie shades of blue and purple. The sound happened again, and this time she thought she knew what it was. The front door was being opened.

She held her breath as she watched through the sliding glass door, mentally retracing her steps back to when she definitely locked it, when she heard the door open, then slam shut. She jumped when a shout came from within, sounding something like a name, then just incomprehensible slurring as a pile of boxes tumbled over. She realized all at once that someone must have seen her moving, and broken in. First Sango, and now this.

She cursed to herself in a panic, whirling around to find something to defend herself with. Her panic only rose when she realized she had nothing except a few plastic plants and a folding lounge chair at hand. She shot a glance over the edge of the balcony in hopes of maybe escaping that way, but it was a straight drop ten stories down into the busy streets below. She looked to her phone, trying to turn it on for just a few seconds longer to call for help, but it was completely drained. She pinned her eyes back on the door when the person within made another noise, and appeared in the  entryway. Kagome was paralyzed in fear as she watched the stranger steady himself on the nearest wall, digging inside his jacket pockets for something. 

As she remained pinned in pure terror, she noticed how the stranger swayed, and grumbled to himself, and how frustrated he was with jacket pockets. He looked like he was constantly one second from stumbling over, but somehow managed to stay upright. There was a word for what he was. Drunk. Very very drunk. More importantly, he was totally oblivious to her presence. Hoping to keep it that way, she ducked down against the railing, sitting on her knees and keeping her head just high enough to watch him.

He called out that slurred name again and waited, but obviously there would be no answer. She realized with some relief that since he was calling for someone he thought lived here, he probably wasn't there to rob her, but in fact had chosen the wrong apartment due to being so drunk. He was most likely a neighbor, not a burglar. She jumped again when he suddenly barked out a laugh of triumph, having successfully pulled whatever he'd been looking for from his jacket. He sauntered over to the glass door of the balcony, and Kagome silently fell back on her butt, pulling her knees up to her chest in defense. That was when his eyes finally glanced up, pausing on none other than a horribly confused and frightened Kagome. 

“Oh… shit, erm… h’llo.” He mumbled, pushing off the door frame and swaying his way over to the railing, which he leaned on with some force. She gasped and reached out when it looked for a moment like he might tip over it, but he quickly steadied himself, sticking a slightly bent cigarette between his teeth. She eyed the crumpled pack in his hand and decided that must have been what he'd been searching for. Next she noticed his jacket-- red leather with something she couldn't quite see embroidered on the back. The pockets did not look all that complicated to her. His hair was very long, straight even though the rest of him looked a little disheveled, and even more interesting, it was snowy white. Her eyes froze when they raised higher, spotting what looked like animal ears on top of his head. 

Overall he was about as strange as any stranger could have been.

He looked down at her as he started a new search through his pockets, eventually pulling out a cheap plastic lighter. 

“Well… Fuck," His low voice rumbled as his amber colored eyes looked over her, sending a chill up her spine. "Ain't you a pretty ‘un.” He laughed once to himself as he flicked the lighter, once, twice, three times before getting it lit. He held it to the tip of his cigarette and took a long drag, the orange glow lighting his face. He was handsome, she realized then, although his habits were anything but attractive. He puffed out a plume of smoke and made a sound like a sigh before finally losing balance and dropping down to the ground beside her. If the movement hadn't been so sudden, it almost might have looked like it was on purpose. 

Kagome thought about asking if he was okay, but he didn't seem to be hurt as he propped his back against the railing, letting his head rest on the metal. He took another drag from the cigarette before turning his face to give her a very focused look. “You wit’ uh… Koga n’ them, or what?” He asked casually. Kagome blinked, lightly clearing her throat as she thought of how to respond to that.

“Um… I think… you may have the wrong apartment.” She said delicately, hoping this revelation wouldn't throw him into some kind of drunken rage. He turned to look around, seeming to weigh the likelihood of that statement before resolutely shaking his head. 

“Uh… no-pe. This’ where I live ‘m pretty sure.” He sorted another laugh, like she was the ridiculous one here. Kagome inched away a little further, wishing she hadn't talked to Sango quite so long.  

“Well… no, you see, this is actually my apartment, so… if you wouldn't mind…” She pursed her lips as he narrowed his eyes at her once again.

“What're you talkin’ about ya crazy broad? If this’ Your apartment, ha’come I got a… a, uh… where the fuck d’I put that damn thing…” He rummaged through his pockets again while Kagome waited. He bit the cigarette between his teeth to free up both hands, concentrating very hard on the task, before finally producing a keychain. “Ah! Uh key! Howcome I gotta key, huh?” As he spoke the cigarette fell from his lips, and he dropped the keys on the ground before her to pick it back up. Once it was retrieved, he took another drag, glancing between her and the keys with a raised brow. With an inward sigh, she decided she could at least direct him to the correct apartment if She knew what number he was in. Kagome hesitantly picked up the keychain, turning through the keys until she found the familiar one, labeled 5J, otherwise known as the very apartment they were both sitting in. 

“Seeee?” He sneered with a smile, “S’my apartment.” He leaned closer to point at the key in question. “Five-J.” He read aloud. Kagome was hit by the smell of liquor and inched away again, offering the keys back. 

“Well… that is a key to this apartment, but I assure you, I live here, not you. See?” Kagome produced her own keys, pulling up her own 5J key and holding it out. He glanced at it and rolled his eyes dramatically, heaving a loud groan.

“That fuckin’ Koga! I keep tellin ‘m not ta give out the damn key to every-fuckin-body, but here we ‘r. I don't give a fuck how fuckin sexy ya are, ya can't liv ‘ere… Gonna mess up th’ whole thing we got goin with the band 'n all them-- fuckin yoko-ono n’ shit, you know what I mean? Keh!” He gave a dismissive wave of his hand in her general direction. No, no she did not know what he meant. From what she could understand most of his vocabulary seemed to be the f-word. She could tell, however, that she wasn't going to get him to leave without calling the police, and her phone was dead. As she shifted her gaze towards the apartment, she realized she didn't have the faintest idea where a charger might be, either. The situation was looking bleak, and after all that had happened that day, it was just a tad too much. She sniffled once, then twice, and a couple small frustrated tears filled the corners of her eyes.

“Awe damn it, don't-- come on!” Protested the drunk stranger. “No crying!”

“Oh, should I laugh!?” She shot back, wiping her eyes for the second time that night. He didn't react, other than snubbing out on the concrete. She noticed through her teary gaze that there were several black marks there, and she absently felt annoyed she'd have to clean the marks off.

“No, you should shut up and…" He trailed off when she gave him a look like daggers. "Uh… go ‘t sleep with me?” He asked, giving her a daring smirk that was way too charming for someone so very intoxicated.

"I have pepper-spray, and I'm not afraid to use it." She threatened seriously. He barked out another laugh.

“Fine, s’wortha shot…” He fumbled onto his feet, adjusting his jacket before sauntering off towards the door. Before he made it all the way there, he half-stumbled into her lounge chair and tumbled into it. He looked like he might try to stand up again, but evidently found the cushion to be pretty comfortable. Instead of correcting his course, he sprawled out, mostly on his stomach, and promptly passed out. 

Kagome blinked, watching his chest rise and fall for a moment before pulling herself up on the railing. She moved as silently as a shadow across the balcony and darted through the glass door, carefully but quickly closing- and locking- it behind her.  <p/>

[9w1ft]

☔️

it’s been about a month now since TSL shut down. i’ve been thinking of how best to summarize my thoughts on the odd things that happened to me there and i’ve decided it’s best to split my thoughts up into a few posts. this is my first!

so, for starters! drumroll pleaaaaaase 🥁 i would like to clear the air.. i am very excited to say that i have properly identified and spoken to the real KalindaKing!

you may or may have noticed before the app shut down, but KalindaKing actually @‘d me in one of her final posts on the app, saying she had seen my theory but that sadly she is an only child.

unfortunately, yes, KalindaKing was not Kimby Kloss. i uhh, take it she herself confirmed it for me recently!

actually, about a month after posting my theory, a mutual of mine tipped me off to a social media post that seemed to be from someone who might be KalindaKing (the gist of the post was, to paraphrase, i saw a theory that i’m karlie’s sister. i wish!), and i had been keeping tabs on it for some time. the post did not get any traction (no likes, no shares) so there was no way to verify if it was related, but doing some digging and cross-referencing photos and whatnot i was left plenty suspicious.

So about 3 months went by after i had my lede on who it could be, and then 48 hours away from app shutdown KalindaKing @‘d me on TSL... so i decided to take the jump and direct message the suspicious person on social media. and, we had a match! it was her!

Can i just say she is just as delightful as she was on TSL? it was an honor to chat with her. turns out she is an active moderator under the same username on another app by the same company.

actually, 😂 the KK part is really a funny coincidence.. see, the moderator who went by the username KalindaKing on TSL originally created that username for herself because she is a moderator on the Kim Kardashian Hollywood app under the same username (she gave me permission to say that), and, alliteration, so go figure! it would appear i exquisitely took my conjectures a twist too far.

this moderator is a professional, so she did not disclose that much to me, but I was able to learn that the ‘TheSwiftLife’ account was the responsibility of her and someone else. She mentioned that Social (ie twitter/fb) was run by her. Someone else was helping out on the TSL app, ie, that account that gave out those persnickety taymoji gifts on the app. 🤨

for those of you who followed my theory closely, this newly confirmed information has likely allowed you to come to the same heartening conclusion that i did: this means that the “message to taylor” function on the app is in all likelihood indeed something that only taylor can see, or, isn’t accessible to just any glu employee. yes, those personal private messages to her were in fact kept private 🥰. that is to say, leading up to my big guess post, i had disclosed the content of my guess (that kimby was KalindaKing) using this function, asking for the go ahead here on tumblr. my theory is whoever the someone is that was helping out with the TheSwiftLife account did not have access to my secret messages, and that’s where the miscommunication between me and them occurred. oops...

if you are new here, you are probably wondering how sound this logic could be. it would also seem to be completely possible that the TheSwiftLife account simply didn't know i existed / had never read anything from me / had never interacted with me through the app.

to that i say:

i now have proof that at least one moderator from the app read my theory back in October 2018

i now have proof that the same moderator @‘d me in response to the theory 48 hours before the app closed on February 1st, despite having know about it for three months.. so i take it that it merited addressing

let me walk you through a sampler of five ‘interactions’ that occurred with me and TheSwiftLife between August and October of last year:

interaction one: 8/1 Puzzle Heart..

after showcasing some interest in the taymoji gifts and crafting my theory of what they meant, i had seen a through line in terms of the overall message being conveyed but was unsure of any of this was real. i posted here on tumblr for the taymoji gods to send me sign, and the TheSwiftLife account gave out a puzzle heart with the flavor text “put the pieces together” the chances of that taymoji being picked to be given out are, i would say, 1/128 chances. the gift giving was mainly from within a pool of the 64 song-based taymoji packs and always of one of the two rare taymoji from either pack, so, 64x2=128

interaction two, 8/29 Rabbit...

following a week of ttb using the emoji rabbit to welcome some anons into the kaylor fandom, TheSwiftLife gave out a rabbit with the flavor text “Fell down the rabbit hole...”

interaction three: 9/12 Pixels..

things felt surreal following the rabbit... so i asked TSL here on tumblr to show me a sign that proved they knew me and saw me. i said there was one taymoji out of them all (of which there are 653) that represented me. i had hoped for the pixel art heart taymoji, as it says in my profile here that i am a pixel artist... i assumed if TSL wanted to respond to my request, they’d poke around my blog and make that connection. 13 days after i made the post, they gave out that exact one. in response, i mentioned what a lovely birthday present this was, as it was coming 13 days before my birthday (i’m born on 9/25)

interaction four: 9/21 Balloons...

between the pixel heart and this next gift, i came to the conclusion that kimby could be spearheading the TheSwiftLife account (given an interaction between this blog and kimby’s instagram stories involving a yacht company), and, as i love cheesy things, i made the extra (flawed) assumption that, given KalindaKing appeared to be a pen name, it would be super duper ingenious if the KK stood for Kimby Kloss. i sent this prediction in the “secret message for taylor” function on TSL, assuming (incorrectly) whoever was on the other side could read it, and posted here on tumblr simply that “i know who you’ve been, and i take it you want me to share?” The next gift that TheSwiftLife gave out were a set of red balloons from the Mine pack, with the caption “Speak now if it’s your birthday this month”

interaction five: 10/1 Umbrella...

even so, i was very hesitant to go through with pushing my theory. it felt, again, unreal. so, i put up one more test... i asked here on tumblr something in the form of a riddle. I decided to phrase a request for them to give a taymoji in the form of a question. knowing the full range of taymoji possibilities, i picked the flavor text of a taymoji that had never been given out, and a double-rare one (which weren’t given out often) the umbrella, and put out my question: do you have my back even if it rains down on me? and the next gift given out was the very umbrella i expected, which has the flavor text “Don’t worry. I’ve got you covered!”

this span of time in particular (not limited to, but especially) is why i have a hard time not believing kaylor is real. why would taylor’s team let any of this fly, that is, why would they allow a bubbly and vocal kaylor experience this if kaylor wasn’t true?

i encourage everyone to look through my blog archive from August to October to see how it played out! it won’t take that long and i think it’s more interesting than just this post. it’s a sweet slice of time... happening before the political post, and then, the ‘wedding’ thing.

and: if you are to believe that this is all just coincidence, then you have to logically assume that every of the above interactions happened at random, with TheSwiftLife drawing from a catalog of over 100 possible choices each time, and accidentally giving something relevant each time. i am not even going to cover the many many other strange alignments between what i post on here and what kimby posts on instagram. the probability of these taymoji is enough.

even taking out of account the probability of the timing of each, and just looking at it like a kid’s math problem, it’s quite a rare outcome.

what is the probability of insinuating 5 specific symbols and drawing those 5 specific symbols out of 5 bags with 128 different symbols inside each, one after the other? 1/128 x 1/128 x 1/128 x 1/128 x 1/128 = 1/34,359,738,368

a one in 34 billion chance of it happening if it happened randomly.

you only think 3 out of the 5 coincidences above are legit? well that still an over one in two million chance. only believe in one of them? still just an 0.8% chance.

and i picked these five interactions because they hilight five times where there really couldn’t have been multiple “applicable” taymoji responses. i tried to cut out that grey zone for you, because there’s plenty of grey examples to pick from. i suppose with the balloons, they could have picked any birthday-looking taymoji and accompanied the gift with the same caption.. but in that case, it means you have to calculate the chances of them writing the birthday messaging after what happened with the pixel heart... and i don’t know how to calculate that...

i’m not even talking about how some of the taymoji given out twice coincided with celebrity appearances in the world of kaylor. i don’t know how to calculate the probability of karlie saying she’ll go to a taylor concert before a marching band hat is given out, and then her appearing at nashville the day after the marching band hat was given out again. or the paul mccartney coincidence, or the hayley kiyoko coincidence, just to name a few of the most straightforward. i’m not even gonna mention all that business about the app notifications freaking out on my phone (for which i have an excel spreadsheet up my sleeve for later should i decide to nerd out that much)

i don’t even need to touch that.

some epic sh*t was positively afoot, my darlings.

but i digress. pending, you know, ‘proof’, we have no surefire way to know about the who (or who all behind it) all of this is, but, i don’t think we need to be sure of that for the time being (uwu*). i just want to re establish that while KalindaKing was a glorious misfire, the mystery of the app still very much remains.

in my upcoming post (i need to buy myself some eyedrops or something because my eyes are redder than that st. louis park sculpture right now), i would like to rewind for a sec and set the question of who aside and refocus solely on what we learned from the gifts and what we can possibly take away from the experience as a whole.

for now, this is me saying, kimby, oops! sorry i thought you were KalindaKing and sorry for not triple checking with you. my double check was not enough. but i’m glad i took the plunge, because, better an oops than a what if, right? and i hope, at least you got a good laugh out of it! and also thank you lovely sisters ☺️ for you know, clearing the way for me to make this post. at least, that’s what it looked like to me. 📯🕊

[kiliinstinct]

Like a Trojan

Small funny Fairy Tail One-Shot. Modern AU. Pairing: Nalu Rated: T for .. questionable shopping items.

Just a little bit of humor I wanted to get out of my head. 

Part 2

“Did… did that Lady just steal my twenty?!”

This was, quite possibly, the strangest day in Natsu’s life. That was quite an easy feet to achieve, however, as his life wasn’t all that odd to begin with. (At least, not to him it wasn’t.) A side job over the summer to help pay off some broken windows was perfectly plausible for a College Student. Not even for the windows, but just for money on the side before the next term ate up all his resources.

Perfectly normal for a millennial.  Even if he had an annoying, green apron on, and a black cap covering up spiky, pink hair. (He refused to dye it, no matter how many marks were put against him. Nothing in the employee handbook said no against colored hair and he was FIGHTING for his rights thank you!) Yes, the essence of normal. Even the way he stifled constant yawns as he checked out the multitude of shoppers that day.

Nothing was out of the ordinary until she came in.

Natsu hadn’t noticed her at first. He was busy juggling a handful of canned goods while an elderly woman demanded he re-scan her coupons.  - ‘They’re supposed to stack!‘ She snapped! - It was irritating to have to tell her, for the third time that week, that no, it did not matter how many times she screamed it, the discounts did not stack as she wanted them to.

In fact, they rather canceled each other out- as the small print on the back would say, but would she care? Never. The lady wouldn’t even bother to put on her reading glasses to squint enough to see it. Instead, she’d demand to see the supervisor, and he’d quickly flag the other down, happy to get her out of his amazing, but hidden, hair.

Before he shouted and got written up again. He really wasn’t great for this sort of job, why was he doing it? Ah, yes, he owed Igneel money for busted windows.  Quite honestly, he knew it was his fault they were broken, but he still swore up and down that it was the wind that had magically changed direction rather than his own poor aim that caused the travesty. How was HE supposed to know a snowball could be so dangerous?

What had been meant to hit his best friend, Gray, in the face, ended in him being forced to work once things warmed up. (More like once his finals were through. His Foster dad already REPLACED the windows, he was just being forced to pay them off to learn responsibility.)

Now here he was, grumbling at the cash registered as the living terror that was this woman, finally conceded and left. His normal, average day continued on, but he had completely missed the frazzled blonde that had come running in, hair falling out of its ponytail, cheeks flushed and clothes looking like she’d failed at tie dying.

She ran through the aisles, grabbing small things here and there, stuffing them into a tiny basket with barely even a glance on the shelves. Twice, she almost hit a customer and apologized profusely while sliding around them to the next corner.  By the time her mad dash through the store lead her right back to the front, Natsu had a new line forming and his coworker had just went on break.

A shame for her. But that gave him an interesting change to his droll routine.  She tapped her foot impatiently, shifted from side to side, and made it quite clear she didn’t have the time to be in a line, but had no other choice. A few others eyed her with each new change in position, but not once did she try to rudely shove someone aside or skip. He’d give her credit for that. The weirdo only got weirder the longer she stood there. Randomly checking her phone on and off, furiously texting a message while grumbling under her breath. Even through the loud beeps of food items going across the scanner couldn’t silence her words.

“I can’t believe Levy’s making me-” some quiet chattered interrupted her here.

               Just so she can screw around with…”

A deep breath here and the muttering continued, “I am SO going to make her pay!”

That last addition wasn’t even quiet. Natsu was certain the entire STORE heard her. But the line just kept moving along, people went about their shopping, and he had to bite back a snicker when his current customer glared at him from the side. Come on, what did he look like? A robot? Of COURSE he was going to laugh at that!

Finally, after more muffled snickers and her creating the subtlest of scenes, it was her turn to scan her purchases. Ignoring him as she furiously dug through her purse for her wallet, the pink haired grocer finally got a decent look at her and honestly? She didn’t look too bad. Nice shape in the eyes, pretty brown- he made an effort NOT to sweep his gaze over her body. (Though that was nice too from what he saw-)

“Why couldn’t this place have a self-checkout?” She mumbled as he finished scanning a pack of gum and froze over the contents of what she had grabbed.

Oh, well- that would definitely explain why she was so agitated.  Natsu couldn’t even bother with hiding his snicker that time- and the mortified glare she sent him only made it worse. “Well, no sneaking in and out like the Trojan’s at this place.”

Crap, did he ACTUALLY say that out loud? What was a cute blush turned to mortified shock and embarrassment and his own face heated up. Yup, he definitely said that out loud. Stuffing the box of condoms into the nearest bag, he laughed it off and continued with the rest of her questionable items. “Not for you I take it?”

“Is that ANY of your business?” She snapped. Covering her face with one hand, she whined. He decided he rather liked teasing her. Her reactions were priceless.  “Can you, just, please hurry up? So I can crawl under a rock and die already?”

Oh yes, he definitely liked her reaction.

“Goin’ as fast as I can.” He answered, and that was no lie. The scanners were a little old, so it took a few swipes from time to time. The speed at which he was going was entirely out of his hands. Thankfully, the blonde didn’t seem the type to shout at him for things beyond his control despite the circumstances. Another mark in her favor it seemed.

Though, was it really professionally to be considering marks into an attractive person’s favor while on the clock?  He chose not to comment on her first question, well aware the answer towards his business clearly had nothing to do with her- though he was starting to wish it did. The moment her final item was canned, the total flashed across the screen and Natsu felt a strange sense of disappointment come across him.

She didn’t seem the type to come to a small corner store often. In fact, he had never seen her before until that day. The likelihood of catching her here again was zero. Oh well, that was life, as it was. He’d just have to wash away his woes by slugging Gray in the face later.

And as far away from Igneel’s windows as he could manage.

Card approved and the whole register chimed as the receipt was printed. He was severely tempted to write his number down on it, but thought better of it. That’s what creepy dudes did and he was not a creepy dude. (So he hoped.)  Instead, the receipt was passed on to her and she, still thoroughly embarrassed, swiped it from his hand, grabbed her bags and moved to rush right back through the doors she had come from.

Except, her purse hadn’t been properly zipped and what looked to be a thin slip of money fell to the ground. “Oi- H-hey, Lad- err, Ma’am?! You dropped your-” It really sucked having to be polite, but the sentence never left his mouth. During the time he’d been fighting with the scanner, his associate came back from break and had just finished checking out another customer who stepped right next to the fallen object and cut him off with a firm glare.

Wait a minute, why was she- the blonde chose at that moment to turn around, eyes bugging out as the realization hit her. The other woman had swiped the dollar and Natsu could see it clearly now: a twenty. “Oh gosh, thank you for picking that up for me, that would have ruined my entire day-”

Her hand had been held out to receive the money and what looked to be a good Samaritan act unfolding right before him took a turn he was not expecting.

“What falls to the ground becomes gifts for others.” She said and pocketed the twenty.

A few seconds of silence followed, and with her two bags full of groceries, the woman walked by Natsu’s register and the blonde as if nothing had happened. And that was when it all truly happened-

“Did.. did that Lady just STEAL my twenty?!” The cute blonde screeched, enough to make his ears ring, but he couldn’t bring himself to complain about it. Instead, his hand swiftly began to untie his apron, intention already set to go after the woman.

“Dragneel, what in the HELL do you think you’re doing?” He froze, face paling as his supervisor, a rather short old man who still managed to pack a wallop if you crossed him, eyed him from the office doors. “Tie that back on, you’re not on break!”

“But- “ He stammered for a moment, pointing towards the doors, “That lady just-”

“No buts-  get back to your post!”

He wanted to tell the old geezer to go screw himself, but remembered he was on his last write up for bad behavior. And he REALLY needed to pay Igneel off. Morality warred inside his head, but the decision was made before he could even budge another inch.

The blonde had run right out at the door and from the windows, he could see her rushing towards the other woman, shouting what looked to be obscenities- her small purchased bag of trojan condoms flapping about as she moved.

“Holy shit-!” Well, he could at least be a witness right? Running towards the windows, Natsu watched the situation unfold, jaw slack in shock. The other woman seemed very unhindered by the blonde’s insistence. Ignoring her with each step as if she’d done this sort of thing every single day. And who knew, maybe she did. Not many others just throw punches at women over a twenty dollar bill now do they?

And a punch never came. She sat her bags on the ground, fumbled with her keys to open the trunk of her car, and the one thing Natsu never expected happened.  He could just BARELY catch the loud shout of blonde and she rushed the woman, grabbing the left alone items.

“WHAT FALLS TO THE GROUND BECOMES GIFTS TO OTHERS!”

She took the woman’s bags and ran.  Ran right out of the parking lot and towards a small, motor bike, set the bags in a basket and took off without a second glance back. The look on the other woman’s face was one of pure, shock and befuddlement.

Natsu was unable to check out another person for fifteen minutes- his gasps and laughter far too loud and constant to handle focusing on the register. “Oh my god, she fucking- she seriously just.. .Oh my god!”

By the time his supervisor threatened ANOTHER write up, he’d been able to get his act together and go on break- fits of chuckles and giggles escaping him every time he thought of the events of that day. It wasn’t how he expected his day to go. In fact, he never expected to see anything like that in his life or for the rest of it. He did know one thing-

“I think I’m in love!”

He NEEDED to find that girl again.

   “....ah crap!”

He never did get her name, did he?

[delicatefury]

October 15th - Random thoughts from another temporary LCS

Same town different coffee shop. I like the food here more, but the coffee at the other place is definitely better (even if they make their own syrups here). So this is the breakfast place™, and that’s the writing place™. Atmosphere-wise, they’re different but I like both.

—————-

This week I turn 30. My BFF (the one I actually live near. The other’s still in Hawaii) wants to go out to celebrate. I wonder if I can get her to go to the vintage wine bar... We’re easing back into an... active? Friendship. Not that we’re not still super close. But when you only see each other a few times a year, conversations tend to default to “what’s happened since I saw you last?” Events, y’know? So now we’re kinda easing back into the stupid wonderful friendship of seeing each other at least twice a month if not more. So now we actually have room to talk about stupid important shit like dreams ambitions current events griping about life family pets lack of love life philosophy fandom do you still want to read my novel you can crash on my couch if you need a night or two away look at my stupid cat you have to tell me when you get a puppy i want to spoil it so much.

———————-

This week TDPL turns 2. I’m at 5 chapters. Still. I know. I think I’ve maybe updated once this entire year. My goal had been a chapter a month. Then 4 chapters a year. Then an average of 3. I’m not even gonna try to give a timeline at this point. I think maybe when my days are busier, I might have an easier time writing.

Currently, I haven’t gotten much writing done due to “guilt from not having a job”. Which is easing now that the job search is starting to bear fruit. Makes me feel creative. Now if only i had a place to work at home...

——————

My interview is Friday. I need to go buy a new suit (I lost weight in the five years since I bought my first interview suit and it is obviously bad-fitting now. Pencil skirts aren’t meant to sit on the hips), new heels (mine are at least 8 years old), and practice my interview questions. My aunt has been amazing for that so far. She hires people for her company all the time, so she knows what’s up.

I’m struggling on the “five years” question. Y’know, “where do you see yourself in 5 years?” I... am not an ambitious person. And I feel like it’s a question to make sure you’re “driven”. I’m not driven in that I’m not motivated by my own status and success. I’m motivated on getting the... well, on getting the issue solved. I want to rise exactly as high as I need to be to most effectively get problems fixed and the work done. I’m not gunning for Partner (though that would be nice) or VP or Lead on a case. I want to be able to put my skills to use. And if doing so means I take those positions, than that’s where I want to be. How do I explain that in a way that impresses hiring partners?

Personal ambitions? I want a quiet, simple, fulfilled life. I want to be useful. But I also kinda sorta want to own a yarn store? Or coffee shop? Or book store? A place that I can make cozy and indulge in my great loves and help other people discover those simple wonderful things?

I want to finish writing and publish a book.

But I’m good at being a lawyer. Crazy good. Lawfully good. And I like the challenge too. So it’s not like I don’t want to be a lawyer in 5 years. It’s just... I have a kinda see where life takes me approach sometimes.

_____________

NaNoWriMo starts in a little over 2 weeks. No clue what I want to write about. No clue if I’ll have no time to participate or too much time.

I think... I think if I can brainstorm enough and research enough, I might cheat a little and do a rewrite of my one finished novel. Because the first draft is terrible and focuses almost entirely on a romance that is central but a subplot at best. Which means I got lost somewhere and need to buckle down and rediscover the actual story I want to tell and whether that needs to be one book or two or three.

Ugh. I love my BFF who lives here, but the BFF in Hawaii is the one who’s always been involved with my writing endeavors. And it’s just not the same discussing said things over phone and/or skype as it is talking it out in person. Oh well. I’ll figure something out.

________

The attempts to be social have not born fruit. Mainly because there’s nothing going on right now in the alumni association or the the bar association, though the local NaNoWriMo chapter is ramping up. Problem? It’s in the city, and right now the city is a 45 minute drive for me. If I get a job soon, it won’t be so bad because 1) my job will be in the city and I don’t mind a 45 minute commute for work, and 2) I’ll just do things after work. But right now it’s a pain to drive that far on my own for just a 1-2 hour thing.

But I did get drinks with the BFF this weekend. Next weekend, though, I’m babysitting my nieces and nephew so literally everyone else in my family can go to an event. Because I got lost in the shuffle of coordinating said event and my older sister assumed that one of us younger siblings would be available and didn’t bother finding a babysitter.

Love her, but really? Anyway, since I wasn’t even aware that there were plans for this weekend to begin with (mom swore she told me, but then younger sis reminded her that was our brother they talked to), I decided to just take one for the team. Eh, who wants to risk awkward conversations with people from high school anyway? I think I’ll wait until I’m employed again and not just tagging along with my parents at 30.

—————

Researching local law is fun. Since I’m doing this for my own potential side-business, I at least don’t have to worry about ethical issues of practicing law without a license (a common saying I’ve run into while researching where the line is: You can always file your own paperwork). I have my license for the state next door. I won’t be licensed for this state (where the farm’s located) until sometime next year.

But the farm’s in an unincorporated part of the county (duh. Not many farms within city limits), so I have to go all the way to actual county zoning code to find the answers I need. There’s no convenient website for these questions like there are for municipalities. While anything I do would have to wait until I at least sit for this state’s bar next July (my 3rd license, but whatever. I’m still a baby lawyer so I can’t just skip the stupid test yet) to be distributed, I’m thinking about putting together a little packet to help other farmers and “unincorporated” (read: country) folks in the county out when it comes to expanding their businesses or pursuing a new line of revenue.

Because the county zoning code is 214 pages and written in legalese. That’s not even touching on other state and county business law questions that crop up. Most people out here assume you can do whatever you can on your own land, especially if it’s zoned for agriculture, and especially since most locals aren’t gonna report you for doing what you want on your own property (because they also assume you can do what you want so long as it’s not hurting anyone/running afoul of the EPA). Probably because their parents and grandparents were able to just start businesses with little interference...

But Dad’s got quite a few stories of people gettting blindsided and unknowingly racking up pretty big fines because, as I said above, there aren’t exactly any easy to understand or easy to access resources for the unincorporated areas of the county.

——————

Dragalia lost is a better game than it has a right to be.

______________

It’s about 11, and I’m trying to avoid “Yapping Dog Syndrome” (telling someone your plans appears to be negatively correlated to the likelihood of executing said plans), but I think I might still list them here. (Convincing my family that it will help me if I don’t actually tell them what I intend to do for the day is gonna take some work....).

So, on the agenda:

Depending on if my Mom texts me before I leave, I’m gonna go pick up some legal pads on my way home. You don’t realize how much you miss something until you don’t have it anymore, and legal pads are a boon for researching. I love my moleksines but they’re definitely better suited for brainstorming/writing then idea development/research. Frankly? Between the ipad, print-outs, and books, they get in the way.

I’m gonna spend about an hour or two on the municipal code/etsy policies.

I need to update my cover letter and send it to at least 2 places. Including that charity.

I’m gonna work on my nephew’s blanket. He’s 2. There are literally no excuses. Also, I can’t move onto new projects until I finish it. Including the new baby’s blanket, socks, my own winter gear, and a ton of started but left unfinished stuff for the rest of the family.

Cleaning up my room. It’s... untidy. I mean, most of that’s not my fault. The room was general storage for Mom’s massive project of cleaning out the attics (yes. Plural. We use the undereaves of the house for storage. I’m 98% certain there’s nothing in the actual above-the-second-story attic. Also, the attics contain things going back to Dad’s childhood). So there’s boxes and boxes of stuff. Mom and Dad’s winter clothes, wrapping paper, seasonal decorations, enough musical instruments for a blue-grass/jazz fusion band (sax, trombone, trumpet, banjo, electric guitar, electric bass, drums, keyboard, acoustic guitar x2...), and toys from our childhood that Mom and my big sis want easy access to for the nieces and nephew. Who do indeed love said old toys (though the nephew’s favorites are actually Dad’s old die-cast tractors. Dad has mixed feelings about letting a 2 year old play with what are technically antiques.)

She’s gone through a lot of it. Like, I’ve got room for my bed, dresser, a mini living room for our gaming consoles (I told you it’s a big room. It takes up about half of the upstairs. I shared it with both sisters growing up. We each had our own mini-room in a corner and a shared area by the walk-in closet) and space for the cats’ stuff, but half the room is still packed with junk and the occasional box crosses over into my living space.

Anyway, Mom should have an answer for me for the legal pads soon, so I’ll be heading out.

I might have something for TDPL’s 2 year anniversary on Thursday, but don’t hold me to it.

[pancakpop]

Skinny Love | Jungkook | Pt. 2

Summary: You and Jungkook have been friends for a long time, probably so long that you can even consider one another best friends. You can spot each other in any crowd just by the bond you share, and you communicate sometimes in your own language. But you weren’t content with being ‘just friends’. You wanted more, but what itched at you was the question of if he felt the same.

Potential Pairing: Jungkook x Reader (Female)

Genre: Fluff, Angst, Future Smut, 

Warnings: Mature Content—cursing, drinking, mentions rape.

This is a College!AU that takes place in the states, so use of English names will appear. There will now be four(?) parts to this. (I’m trying to get chapters out quicker so the shorter the chapters the quicker). Enjoy part two and please don’t forget to like this and give me feedback.

-Tee

Chapter: 01 | 02 | 03 | 04

M O N D A Y

You haven’t spoken to Jungkook since Saturday, facing him would be a difficult challenge that you weren’t ready for. Avoiding him at all costs until you were rid of the embarrassment that ran all over you was the goal for the month, maybe even the year. It was stupid yes, as much as you bit your nails out of the fear of possibly running into him on campus, you knew that someday you were going to have to speak to him. After all, he is your best friend and communication means a lot to him.

He texted you more often than you’d like, at times just to tell you that he needed to talk to you, other were just to check on how you were holding up with a few funny memes just to make you laugh. See the thing you loved about Jungkook was his ability to understand people, especially you; he’s patient with you as he knows that opening up took time and he’d wait as long as he needs to. Still, that doesn’t mean he can’t coax you into the water.

Kookie ⚠️🍪 12:38 pm

Respond back so I at least know you’re alive.

You 12:39 pm

I’m alive.

Kookie ⚠️🍪 12:40 pm

So do you want to talk now? I haven’t seen you in so long. You can’t avoid me forever.

If you really wanted to never have to face the embarrassment of seeing him and knowing that rejection would come; then yes you could, in fact, avoid him.But it was so hard to not want to see him, it was so hard and exhausting trying to hate him for something that wasn’t even his fault. You wanted to tell him that it wasn’t him you truly hated, but yourself. You were the one who fell for him and it hurt like hell having to watch him go through girls over the past few years. You did it to yourself, and you couldn’t punish him for not feeling the same way but everyone knows that if you were him, you’d want to be able to feel the way you felt freely without any guilt.

Really, you were going to text him back (you told yourself a million times) maybe a meme to try to cheer yourself up but your body wouldn’t allow it. The only thing it allowed you to do was curl up in bed, have your heart beat more quickly than it usually did and have your mind clog up with different ways to cope, one being almost impossible at the moment—to just stop loving him. You weren’t fucking ready to stop because even though loving someone who did not show mutual feelings was hard; in the process, it felt so unique and beautiful and you might never have the same experience again. You might never get to fall in love again. Especially with someone as special as Jungkook.  

T H U R S D A Y

It was spring so that meant the weather was getting warmer to the point where you could go outside with just a light jacket on, however you find yourself wearing the long sleeved shirt that Jungkook had given you as you walked with your cousin and her friend to one of the restaurants on campus. The likelihood of running into Jungkook was putting you on edge as the kid knocked on your apartment door twice a day, once before heading to lecture hall which was a few minutes away from your apartment and once after returning from the lecture hall. You weren’t answering your phone nor your door so it was safe to say that you were getting kidnapped by Jungkook the next time he sees you.

‘The Bar and Grill’ which was nicknamed ‘the bag’ by many was the go to place for you whenever you wanted to just feel inspired and write poetry or whatever it might be that day. Their WiFi service was excellent, the food was amazing and just by taking one step into the place meant that you were going to be treated like family.

Even in Spring the owners had the heat turned up to a degree where it was comfortable to eat and relax. You saw some people from your classes, many of whom you never took the time to speak to because their partying ways did not appeal to your reserved ways. You preferred to stay home and relax with friends instead of going to some random person’s house and mingling with strange people at strange hours. Jungkook was like this in a sense, only he loved going to the parties for the booze.

“Huh,’ Nina scoffed in disbelief, ‘this place is nicer than I expected.” 

“How do you go to school here and never even been to The BaG? Matter of fact how to you live with us and not see the inside of this place?” Most days you and Jungkook went here to chill as he practiced singing and you attempted to do homework which resulted in him pushing your binder away and telling you listen to this song with him. He would let you lean on his shoulder, and every now and then feed you one of his french fries, being careful not to get any sauce on his white t-shirt. 

You felt yourself being nudged a bit, your cousin telling you to stop daydreaming about Jungkook and to start ordering something before she made you pay for your own meal. But how could your mind get rid of Jungkook when you knew that he was waiting on a text back and that he was set on making you talk to him. Knowing Jungkook he would search this whole campus just so that his stubborn ass could find you. “Fuck my life,” the realization of something that was sending you into panic hit you. 

“What happened bubs?”

“We come here a lot, usually on Thursday’s too. I don’t know man I think he might come here.”

“I think it would be good if you speak to him. You can’t avoid him forever.”

Your cousin sounded like Jungkook so you tuned her out.

Your eyes ran through the various people here again, making sure that you did not see or hear anything Jungkook related. You set your attention back to your cousin, the things that she was saying getting lost in your head as you thought to yourself. Wait a fucking minute. You looked back to a table of four, three women and one man, smiling at one another, all was good besides the fact that she was girl Jungkook was fucking that night at the party. 

She probably sensed that someone was staring at her as her eyes met yours in what was the most awkward experience of your life. For a few seconds you both stared at one another, not wanting to give up dominance or the challenge for that matter. “Who the fuck are you looking at?” Renee asked you and tugged you by your arm making you sit back properly in the booth. While your cousin had saved you from looking like an idiot you also wanted to punch her for making you surrender to the female. 

“That’s the girl he slept with.”

Silence filled your table, the only sound being your vibrating phone. 

Kookie ⚠️🍪 5:30 pm

I can’t believe you went to the bag without me. I’m hurt 😭

“Guys he’s here,” Nina said looking past your head and towards the front of the restaurant. “I recommend you speak to him but if you want to duck you can do that.”

You looked at your cousin, your heart racing as Jungkook spotted you and made eye contact with you for about a second. “I’m going to the bathroom,” she got up from your side of the booth to give you room to leave and you quickly walked to the bathroom ignoring Jungkook’s calling out for you.

Being in the bathroom made your breathing slow down by your head was mess knowing that he was probably waiting for you right outside the door and you’d have nowhere else to go. Trust and believe that if there was a window in here you be the first to climb out of it. 

You went over to the sink, running water over your hands and eventually washing your face from the oil and hoping that the somewhat cold water would help cool you down. From your neck up everything was hot, your hands were still shaking and your head was spinning as your tried to steady yourself by grabbing the counter. You can do this, nothing bad is going to happen.

“I don’t know why you thought you could avoid me.”

Jungkook looked you up and down with a little smirk as your cousin and her friend both gave you apologetic looks. It really wasn’t their faults to begin with, Jungkook was going to sit there regardless and wait for you all night if he had to; he’s such a stubborn boy. Fine then, if he wanted to talk then you both could talk. You fixed the collar of the shirt, feeling more self conscious as he knew you were wearing his shirt, but you doubt he would mind as he gave it you. 

You frowned at seeing how tense your cousin looked. “We’re going to take a walk and then I’ll come back. You know what I want right?” She nodded and told you that it was fine and to take your time. “Are you coming?” You asked Jungkook as you walked off knowing that he would follow behind. 

Getting outside made things worse as you realized that you would essentially be alone with him and no one would be here to save you just like that night at the party. But if we wanted to get technical Jungkook did stop you from running off and into God knows where in your drunken state, so you could count that as saving you. “This is awkward,” you can’t possible hold your tongue back as you both walked along the sidewalk. This meeting was awkward and it wasn’t going anywhere. 

“Well you’re the one who wanted to take a walk so I’m assuming you wanted to say something to me.”

You couldn’t help but be annoyed by him, “I need you to stop stalking me.”

Jungkook shook his head, “I’m not stalking you. I just want to know where we stand because you’re doing a fucked up job of communicating with me.”

You wanted to say something, anything to retort his accusation (that was true) but you couldn’t because he was right and you were wrong. He had every right to be pissed off because you’ve basically been acting as if he didn’t exist, like he was just another person but he was so much more than that to you. “I’m sorry.” You really were and Jungkook knew this that’s why you were quickly forgiven. 

“You have to speak to me, that’s how we work.” He wrapped an arm around you and for the first time in days things felt normal between the two of you. Naturally you wrapped your arm around his waist and moved in closer to him as he squeezed your shoulder. 

“I know but you know how I get with things like this!”

He chuckled, “I know and that’s why I kept reaching for you. If you liked me you should have just told me.”

“And face rejection and probably losing our friendship. Makes sense.”

“How do you know I was going to say no? I would have said yes, and I’m not going to stop being your friend due to some minimal shit. We’ve been through so much that things like this is nothing.”

His words had comfort you, it brought certainty to your mind now as you knew that he wouldn’t let how you felt about him effect your friendship with him. Jungkook was always good with words when it came to you, he said something cheesy things here and there but they meant a lot to you because you knew he meant everything he said.

Your words were caught in your throats for a second but you managed to get them out. “Back to what you said about how we work, you’re right, us talking to each other makes us a good team.” You hadn’t noticed but Jungkook was staring at you as you spoke about how important it was to finally get everything off your chest. The night at that party, the years of loving him—it was like they were all kept wrapped around your heart, squeezing it tightly. But as your heart was about to burst it slowly unraveled, revealing things in a different light.

Jungkook smiled, you could see his two front teeth that resembled a bunny smile. “We make the best team. Can we sit my legs are getting tired.”

You hadn’t noticed how far you had walked until you looked back and saw that the restaurant was in the far distance up two blocks. “Yeah sure,” you sat on the nearest bench by this florist shop that was thankfully closed today. Wouldn’t need people telling Jungkook that he should buy flowers for the special lady in his life—you. Whenever you both hung out in the city he’d be on the same side of the sidewalk with his arm around you as he held you close, and you would have your arm around his waist to balance it out.

He was awfully close to you as he scratched his head like he always did when he was nervous.

Wait.

Why does he look like he’s thinking about something deeply?

Why is he smiling at me?

Why is he leaning in?

It happened. The kiss. It was amazing in a weird way, here you were kissing the boy you’ve loved for so long in front of random people who were walking by. The kiss was sweet, his lips were soft, and his hands were warm as they caressed your cheek and your fingers were perfectly locked in his hair. This was happening.

He was the one to pull away, the charming smile he carried before still on his face. He was content, his heart was filled with happiness. You were a blushing mess, but like him you were content, and your heart was filled with more happiness than you thought was possible.

“I should have asked you first I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be.” You were quick to answer so you sunk back in embarrassment, but Jungkook took your hand rubbing his thumb over yours.

He opened his mouth to say something but only a chuckle could be heard. “I wanna be with you. I don’t care about ruining something that’s too strong to break. I wanna be with you.” He looks at how your fingers were intertwined with each other, this was what he wanted to do everyday. He wanted this, he wanted you. And he didn’t need to think about it last night, in fact the feeling of wanting you, needing you, missing you although you were never truly apart from him only dawned on him when he was sat in that restaurant watching you walk out of the bathroom you were hiding in.

He retraced his feelings back to the ending of senior year where he was unsure of whether to ask you out or to let you be. He let you be from fear of rejection and fear of drifting apart. But now that you were here with him, he wasn’t going to let you walk from again, not after knowing that you felt the same way. He was not letting you slip through his fingers. Not today.

You never did give him a solid response. You simply said ‘me too’ but you were unsure of diving right into a relationship with him as you wanted him to clear his plate of women he had on his tail, and you also needed time to process how quickly your life was going to change. You were still going to be best friends no matter what, but actually dating him and being his. The thought was all sweet and steamy but the reality of it was much more than that.

“Oh my God just fucking go out with him.”

“You’re thinking about it too much just suck his dick and marry him.”

Okay so your cousin was definitely right but Nina not so much. Still though you were going to need to process this whole thing and that meant separating yourself from him for a while to look at the picture clearly.

“Y/N open up it’s me Jungkook!“

Well damn, so much for separating yourself from him.

[ridikulusmarauder]

Short Jily story I wrote, not my best work but thought I would share . . . Also written on Fanfiction.net

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.  I am not JK Rowling.  

 Love Me Slowly

 She isn’t certain when it happened.  That change from despising him and cursing him and doing everything in her power to ignore him—granted that last part never happened; his arrogance and insipid means of dragging a response from her succeeded over eighty percent of the time—had turned into nothing less than infatuation.  And she hates it. She is Lily Bleeding Evans for Merlin’s sake.  She does not obsess over boys like this—t-this continuous thought process of him.  Of the little habits of his she’d come to notice.  The habits that were endearing and genuine.  That made her stop and ponder where it had come from.  Then the way he would smile.  Lazily.  In such a way that diffused her tension.  But then, that was his way.  His charismatic, charming way of being James Potter.

He is seated by himself in the Library.  Not that that his solitude is terribly surprising to Lily, the likelihood of Sirius Black (or any other one of his cohorts) to willingly enter the Library on a Saturday is fair to none.  With his disheveled hair and lopsided glasses, he pours over a textbook in a way that Lily recognizes as frustrated.  He sighs with an agonized force, pushing the text away and leans back in his chair. That lazy smile breaks across his face at the sight of her.

Her heart decides to stop functioning right then and a blush creeps over her cheeks.  Curse him.

“Hello,” she says lightly as she drops into the seat across from him.  Unable to bring herself to meet his gaze she focuses instead on pulling her Head notes from her bag.

“Finally managed to drag yourself out of bed?” he teases.  Running a hand through his hair he closes the textbook with a flourish.

“I knew I would regret telling you my love of sleeping in,” she scowls.  Finally looking up she finds that he’s smirking now, his eyes dancing gleefully. “It’s not even that late!  Eight o’clock hardly qualifies as a decent hour to get up.  And just because I am late to our meeting doesn’t give you the right to make that comment.”

He laughs loudly at her. “Quite finished?”

Her blush deepens at her petty rant.  Tucking her hair over one shoulder Lily changed the subject. “Did you finish making up to new rounds schedule?”

James didn’t answer immediately.  Clearing his throat he shut his book, an obscure title about charms, and gave her a pleading look. “Do you love me?”

Yes. “Potter!”

“I’m sorry Lily! I’m guilty of procrastination, I admit it.  But just so you know I had planned on finishing it last night, but I had to go stop Peter and Sirius from nicking a set of bludgers from the Quidditch pitch. Remus was bloody useless.” Looking offended James runs a hand through his hair.  “He just sat back and kept charming them out of my reach.  Speaking of which have you seen any of them?  I have a need to express my appreciation, or lack thereof.”

It takes all her control not to crack a smile. “Quite finished?”

He gives her an exasperated look that turns into a deep scowl when she bursts out laughing. “Stop laughing!  I didn’t get back to the Dorm until two in the morning.”

“Yes of course,” Lily says clearing her throat. “We should mourn the loss of your beauty sleep.”

“Do you think I’m beautiful Evans?”

Yes. “Potter.”  Now she’s blushing and there is nothing to do about it but ignore his intense gaze and fumble uselessly with her quill.  She can feel his eyes upon her, precise and careful they never seem to miss anything. But, he says nothing else and pulls out a clean sheet of parchment.

“It’s actually Sirius who gets offended when he doesn’t get his allotted seven and a half hours.” He says it too late.  Lily has the dreadful feeling that he knows.  Oh Merlin he knows.  But he says nothing about that and does his best to rectify the attention he put on her.

“Ah, that explains so much,” she is quick to respond with a laugh and roll of her eyes.  Lily watches as he starts making out a chart of a new rounds schedule.  Why isn’t he teasing her?  He usually never misses a chance to bring a blush to her cheeks or a curse from her wand.  

“Yes, I would avoid him as best you can,” James chuckles as he continues to hash out an idea for the rounds.  While he’s occupied Lily is free to watch him.  It was interesting to try and pin point what had changed.  Thankfully the hair hasn’t been affected.  It was not until the end of sixth year that she’s admitted to herself that yes, his hair was actually fabulous.  He is talented, but that hasn’t changed either.  He’d always been talented, the Transfiguration prodigy that makes McGonagall only a touch more lenient with him.  That and he’s brilliant at Quidditch.  What was it?

The question makes her unable to focus throughout their meeting.  Which is rather embarrassing because he catches her staring at him twice more before they finish everything they need to discuss.

“I suppose you’re going to head to Hogsmead with your remaining freedom?” She asks when they finish and are putting their things away.

“Someone’s got to stop Sirius from spiking third years’ drinks with firewhiskey,” James says mournfully.  “Peter keeps Remus distracted so he never actually see’s it happening.”

“James Potter, not shirking in his Head Boy duties,” she says dryly as she stands, “I’m impressed.”

She meant it.  She really did.  But in the way she said it he knew her heart wasn’t in it.  He didn’t see past the sarcasm.  It was later that she realized that.

“I am a good person Lily,” he tells her.  When he rises, it is with ease and grace.  She remembers hearing Marlene and Alice go on about their pureblood families and “trainings” on etiquette they had to go through.  “It’s the pureblood heritage,” the would mimic together.

She doesn’t respond. She can’t respond as he turns quickly and leaves the Library.

.*.*.*

She is in an empty classroom slumped in the first seat she had found upon entering.  Shaking with sobs she leans over the desk holding her head in her hands.  Her red hair is a mess; tangled and wet with her own tears, she hasn’t had a chance to wash it in three days.  Which normally wouldn’t be the first things on her list of worries, but after everything else has decided to go to Slytherins chamber pot, why not this? Just another thing to the list of things wrong with her.  

She finds it rather ironic that this was what finally got her to snap.  It wasn’t Severus.  It wasn’t Dad.  It wasn’t even Dorcas’ snub.  No.  Of course it had to be Petunia.  The invitation had been addressed by her mother. A little note was attached begging Lily to find a way to come back home, if only for the day.  Again, from her mother.  Did her mother know that another letter arrived that same day?  That same moment in fact?  It was from Petunia.  Calling it a note puts it lightly.  It is much more a threat.  Don’t you dare come back FREAK.

Thinking about it rolls her body in another sob.  Don’t you dare.  Don’t you dare.  

Freak.

Freak.

That’s always what she has been and always will be it seems.

She doesn’t realize someone has entered the room until there’s a hesitant hand on her shoulder. That only makes her cry harder because she knows who it is.  He says nothing as he stands beside her.  Nothing as she cries clutching her head in her hands.  As he slips into the seat beside her, his hand works in slow circles across her back.  He says nothing and merely waits.

It takes sometime before she can calm down enough to stop making little gasps at each breath.  It’s pathetic.  Freak.  She straightens slowly and brushes her hair from her face, but she cannot look at him.  She can only imagine what he’s thinking.  

There you are Potter. The girl your so “madly in love with” is having an emotional breakdown.  How attractive is this?

He says nothing about her state, but simply mutters a spell and conjures a handkerchief to hand to her. Silently she takes it and a fresh wave of tears begins to roll down her cheeks.  When did he go and grow a bleeding conscience?  Lily snubs this round of tears as quick as she can. She’s made a fool of herself around him enough as it is.  Quietly she wipes her face and blows her nose, delicacies forgotten.

It is a moment before he makes a noise like he wants to say something.  He tries again, but stops.  Again, but can’t seem to form the words.

“James?” She finally comes out and speaks first.  He makes no response.  It has been a while since she’s actually used his first name, he’s probably shocked. “Thank-you.”

“What else are friends for?” he asks softly, one hand is still on her back working in soothing circles.

Lily turns a little to face him.  Friends. Yes.  They are friends, aren’t they?  She likes that.  That’s the best thing she’s heard all day.  While the classroom is dim and she can’t see very well with her stupid tearful eyes, there is a glimmer in his own.  He cares. Before she can think about it she leans over and pulls him into a hug.  Well, it’s probably more like a strangling the way her arms wrap around his neck and she holds on like she’ll never let go.  Hesitantly he returns the hug, his hands kindly resting on her back.

James presses his nose against her temple and as he feels the drop of tears on his collarbone he pulls her closer.

.*.*.*

Furious.  That’s the only way to describe her.  And even though that anger is directed purely at him, James cannot help but grin.  Her red hair is flying about her in the wind mingling with the falling snow, the hat she’s wearing seems useless to its purpose.  There’s a scowl etched on her face.  It’s nearly a permanent characteristic.  Even at this distance he can the gently curved shape of her eyes as they flash like a venomous snake.  She was furious, and he loved it.

“James Potter.”  He’s surprised he can actually understand her. Although anything with that tone of maliciousness and it’s probably his name or “Bloody Marauders.”  She’s snarling angrily with a hand itching towards her cloak pocket where he knows her wand is waiting.

“Lily Evans.”  James responds jovially out of habit.  Honestly sometimes he prefers her in this vindictive mood.  It certainly is an improvement from the state he’d last found her in.  Had it really only been a month?  Ever the object of his fascination, despite how he tried to subdue it, he couldn’t help but notice the color drain from her face that day at breakfast.  She was seated away from her friends (after an epic battle of insults that reverberated throughout Gryffindor Tower, Dorcas was ignoring Lily) and he couldn’t help but watch her leave her breakfast untouched and run from the Great Hall. The last time she had done so was in second year after Sirius had sprayed pumpkin juice down her front after she’d made a comment about his hair.

Obviously, something had upset her.

Now, thankfully, she seems to be back to her usual self.

“Don’t you dare,” she grinds the words out as she comes to a stop in front of him.  Her cheeks are stained pink from a mix of the cold and her anger.  The scarf she wears is one he’s never seen before, and he has taken great care to know the kinds of scarves she likes.  Unlike her usual ones of wool and knitted patterns, this one is thin and lanky and appears to be doing an ineffective job at keeping her warm.  The skin of her neck is red with chill and there’s a small buildup of snow the rubs there atop the collar of her cloak.

“What have I done this time?” he drawls.  He looks over his shoulder at the entrance to Hogsmead.  Remus and Sirius are there waiting for him, Peter likely trying to figure out a way to sneak out of a detention without Filch noticing.  

“You can’t just,” she begins, but she comes to a loss of words. “You never even,” she tries again.

“Is this about changing the schedule?” He asks, his grin deepens at her flabbergasted struggles to speak.  This topic she’s trying to get at is one she’s obviously passionate about and there’s a feeling in his gut that tells him it’s not the schedule. “Walsh said he’d mentioned it to you.”

“No,” she snaps.

He cuts her off before she can continue. “Moving the Prefect Meeting?  I did run that by you, no?  Slytherin’s feeling entitled to have the pitch on Thursday’s because of something to do with Astrology.  Load of hogwash in my opinion.”

“No,” she says again, but he can see her angry resolve faltering.  Her hands move up to her scarf and she tries to pull it tighter, warmer, against her skin.

“Hmm,” he muses. “Than what is it?”

Lily opens and closes her mouth trying to form a response.  Before she can do so she, yet again, is interrupted.  A group of third years rush past them back up to the castle. Their feet squelching and splashing in slushy snow and mud.

“You lot ought to be careful and not track mud in the Castle,” James warns them. “Filch’ll have all your heads the rest of the year!”

“Thanks James!” come a reply and the students disappear around a bend in the path.

James returns his attention to Lily and finds she is no closer to giving him an answer.  Taking advantage of the fact she has yet to draw her wand, James steps closer to her, they’re barely more than two feet apart. He pulls his own scarf off and wraps in around her.  As he holds onto either end, he pulls them closer together.  Close enough that he can feel her breath warm against his neck, and he can see the splash of freckles on her left temple.  

She doesn’t move like he expects her to.  All she does is stare defiantly at him and he can see something in her eyes that he can’t quite register, he’s seen it once before; in the library.  They stare at each other a moment more before he leans in and presses a quick kiss on her forehead.  Her breath is quick on his neck and she inhales again sharply.

James pulls away and winks at her. “You seemed a bit cold love, that scarf of yours isn’t nearly as warm as mine.”

It is then that she pulls her wand out and is able to hit him with a tickling charm.  When she lets out a string of profanities at him it is all he can do to remain standing as he laughs.  But he doesn’t mind as he stumbles off to the Three Broomsticks. She seems to be back to herself again. And he especially doesn’t mind when he sees her the next day with his scarf firmly in place around her neck and he has a feeling he won’t be getting it back.

 .*.*.*

 He ignores Severus.

He makes his friends ignore Severus.

It would have been the perfect opportunity to hex him.  The hall was only full of little first years and Gryffindor’s.  No one would have stopped him.  Perhaps not even her.

But he lets the Slytherin pass by unnoticed, grabbing Sirius’ arm and shaking his head. Sighing vocally Sirius complains “dog-gone-it, that was a golden opportunity”.  James ignores him.

Lily feels a bit lightheaded at that.  She tells herself that it’s because she was up all night last night trying to talk through the disagreement with Dorcas.  That had only ended in tears.  She is tired of crying.

He glances over his shoulder and their eyes meet.  He nods briefly before disappearing with his friends.  And she realizes that is it.

They have rounds together that night.  Lily realizes that it’s been ages since they’ve had an opportunity like this to talk. To really talk.  And yet, while they walk through the corridors they say nothing.  James lazily waves his wand, sending bursts of bubbles this way and that.

“Alright Evans?” He asks finally.

She snaps to attention suddenly and self-consciously runs a hand through her hair. “Hmm? Yeah, I’m fine.”

Lily doesn’t look at him. For some reason, she just can’t bring herself too.  She can still feel his touch from when he embraced her in the empty classroom and her forehead still tingles from that silly little kiss.  Curse him.  Spending so much of her time obsessing over him was the last thing she wanted to do. Spending so much time wondering if he still felt the same about her drives her made.

Lily knows he had a thing for her in the past.  He made no secret of it before.  But all the times he’d asked her out seemed so halfhearted; having always been combined with a curse or a jinx to another student or some pigheaded comment about her legs or wand work.  Believing he fancied her is just a joke she keeps amongst herself and Marlene. Though her friend insists that Lily should go out at least once with James before the end of their time at Hogwarts.

“You are a terrible liar Lily.” James cuts into her train of thought without reserve.  She notes that he’s put his wand away and instead works on disheveling his hair.  When his glasses slip down his nose he doesn’t seem bothered, instead focusing his attention on her.

“Maybe I don’t want to talk about it,” she says, because how could she?  Yes, James, let us talk about how my feelings for you have changed.  How I’ve notice you’ve matured and changed into a more responsible caring person.  She stops abruptly in the hall at how concise the thought had come to her. That is exactly what she has been searching for the last few months.

“Lily?” He’s a few paces ahead and looks back at her expectantly.

A sour taste grows in her stomach.  But he’s still as annoying and prying as ever. “It’s none of your business what’s the matter with me.”

“So you admit theirs is something bothering you,” he said with a cheeky grin.

She scowls and hurries to walk pass him.  There’s two more hours left on their rounds.  Merlin give her patience.

“C’mon, we’re friends aren’t we?”  He catches up to her easily. “You kept my scarf and everything.”

Blast it all.  Lily knew she should have publicly burned that thing when she had the chance.  At least she wasn’t wearing it now, it was tucked beneath her pillow.  A fact that she would not tell him.

“Why does it even matter to you James?” She finally asks tiredly.  They come to a stop near the Astronomy Tower, surprisingly enough no one was there trying to sneak up for a snogging session.

“We’re friends,” he says again, a bit confusedly.

Looking up at him Lily sighs, but doesn’t meet his eyes.  Instead she focuses on the scar sitting on his jawline.  She’d given that to him last year after an incident involving a pixie and fireworks.  The Common Room still smells like smoke.  “Even friends have secrets.”

“Yes, but if it’s bothering you so much talking about it will help relieve the stress,” he says.

“I’m not stressed!”

“Your tone suggests otherwise.”

“Bugger off,” she snaps looking away.  Neither of them move.  Glancing back over her shoulder she watches the nearest torch.  It flickers in the gentle draft of air that moves down from the dower.  The flames dance and flow in the air flow.  As she watches she finds herself grateful her hair is not orange like those flames. That’s all she can focus on.  If she tries to think of anything else she will realize how close she and James are.  She’ll realize the sporadic beat of her heart and the way her hands are sweating uncomfortably.  She’ll realize things that she’s been suppressing for a long time now.

“Are you incapable of showing any other kind of emotion Evans?” He growls, if possible leaning even closer to her.

“Oh I’m sorry, would you rather I begin sobbing uncontrollably and fall into your arms again?” she replies just as rudely. “Shall I add a kiss and sweet whisperings of undying love for you?”

“Well actually,”

Smack

As soon as her hand collides with the side of his face she wishes she hadn’t done it.  When the term started, she had a goal not to lose her temper like this again.  Bugger.

“I-I’m sorry, I d-didn’t mean,” she stutters jumping away from him.  Slowly, he raises a hand to his cheek, it seems he too realizes how long it’s been since she’s slapped him.

“Or course you meant it,” he says quietly.  “You wouldn’t have done it otherwise.”

“If you weren’t so infuriating,” she begins and almost glares at him.  But she can’t finish her angry rant.  No, he was right.  There’s that look in his eyes that tells her.  It’s the same look he had almost half of last year when he and Sirius weren’t speaking to one another.  It’s a look of betrayal and hurt.  That familiar gleam in his eyes deadens a little and his smirk has dropped away. Lily finds she doesn’t like the effect that has on him.  Instead of a charismatic and haughty young man he turns to be cold and distant.  She recognizes that look.  It’s the same one she sees in the mirror every morning. Trying again, she begins slowly and carefully. “You’re right.  I am stressed.  And annoyed. And angry.”

They finally meet each other’s gaze, but neither says anything.  Typical of almost every night in the castle, there is not much commotion in the halls.  Distantly she can hear a pair of ghosts talking and there’s a painting just ahead, past the stairwell to the Astronomy tower that’s having an argument with itself. So, in near silence they watch each other.  It’s strange, Lily thinks, she’s not embarrassed or angry about this stare down.  Normally she would lose, attributing her looking away to needing to go somewhere.  But now, there is no excuse.  No reason to look away.

“Anything else?” He finally asks.  That gleam returns to his eyes, only just.  

Scoffing Lily folds her arms over her chest. “I apologized, what more do you want?”

“Friends don’t let friends keep their emotions bottled up like this Lily.”  His tone gives her a heart murmur.  The only time she’s ever heard him talk like that was when he called Sirius his brother or recalled a story about his family.  

She can feel her muscles relax and a wave of relief washes over her.  For a moment, there is a part of her protesting everything about this. You don’t have to tell him!  It’s none of his business what you’re going through.  Completely rational and true.  But then there’s the voice that replies quietly, but I want to talk about it.

Slowly she rocks forward on the balls of her feet and gestures to the Astronomy stairwell. Settling on the same step their knees graze only slightly.

“If I have to talk, than you do too,” she warns with a pointed stare.  He smirks and she notices that there’s a small dimple in his right cheek when he does so.  How long has he had that?

“Only fair Miss Evans,” he says.  Those hazel eyes seem to bore into her, more than they’ve ever done before.  A blush heats her cheeks and Lily snaps her attention ahead of them focusing on the dancing shadows emitted from a torch.

“I was about eight or nine when I learned about magic,” she begins, unsure about what to say next. It’s not like she hasn’t talked about this before.  Marlene has always been a good shoulder to lean on when she’s needed it.  But now, talking to James, she feels like an overflowing teacup balancing on a marble; if she doesn’t talk now, she’ll topple over and shatter to pieces.  “For a muggle girl that’s what we dream of you know?  Being magical, like a princess in a story book.  It means we’re special.  Only when I actually left for Hogwarts and Petunia wasn’t going to come—it didn’t feel so magical.  S-she didn’t understand I guess.  Didn’t want to.”

Taking a breath, Lily realizes she’s shaking, it’s not just from the cold.  Gripping her knees with her hands to try and keep them still, she continues.  She doesn’t even notice that curious look growing on James’ face.  If she did she would see that fascination and interest that he has always had about her.

“I don’t know why it was so hard.  I made new friends here, great friends.  I wouldn’t change it for the world, but Tuney, she was my first friend.  My real friend.”  She pauses to watch a shadow twirl at an unexpected gust of air barreling down the hall.  “You don’t have siblings so I guess you would know, but it’s like a betrayal of trust when it ends.  We should still be friends.  We should still be able to tell each other everything.  But I’m just, just the fr—she’s getting married.  In the Spring.  Mum had to send me the invitation.  Petunia doesn’t want me there.  It was the first time she’s written me since second year and she uses that opportunity to tell me not to come.  Because I’m this.”

She finishes with a hiss of disgust and she realizes that she’s crying.  Thankfully it’s only silent tears, but this has to be one of the most embarrassing things she’s had to endure.  The two times someone has to see her cry and it’s always been with him. And now she’s told him some of the deepest thoughts she’s had.  Unable to bring herself to look at him, Lily drops her gaze to her hands, balled up atop her knees.

James shifts beside her and she knows he’s ruffling his hair.  When he speaks it’s in a simple way.  There is no trace of mockery or demeaning to it. “Sirius was an idiot once—oh all right even more so than usual.  He betrayed not only Remus’ trust, but mine and Peter’s as well.  I could have killed him, Remus nearly did.  You know what I said to him?  He’s the closest thing I’ve had to a brother and I told him I wish he would go back to his parent’s house.  ‘You’re no better than the lot of them,’ I said.  Lily, if you only knew what they’re like.  I may as well have told him to go slit his wrists or get locked up in Azkaban.”

When he pauses, Lily looks up at him.  Pure anguish is etched in his face.  His brow furrows deeply as he searches for an answer to an impossible question.

“You ask about that feeling of betrayal from someone,” he says softly, a humorless laugh follows. “Yeah, I felt betrayed by him. But my betrayal, that thing that I said.  That haunts me.  It’ll always haunt me.”

Silence.

His fingers tap tunelessly on his legs; she can feel his anxiety seeping off of him.  Deliberately she reaches over and takes one of his hands in hers.  She can’t tell who clings on the hardest.

.*.*.*

They are in the Library again.  He’s cursing his Charm’s textbook vigorously as he flips through the pages trying to locate a passage.  Watching bemused, Lily leans back in her chair and absently rolls a bit of her hair around a finger.  Over the past few months she’s gotten more used to the idea of thinking James was attractive.  Because really, Marlene was right, he would be in Witch Weekly every darn edition if those journalists laid their eyes on him. She’s never admitted it out loud though. Merciful Merlin, she could just imagine what Marlene would say, or what Mary’d do.  And now that she and Dorcas have made up, there would be fireworks and alcohol involved.  No.  It is better just to admit it to her diary.

The Potion essay sitting in front of her gives her a migraine.  Usually Potions comes fairly easily.  Not as easy as Charms, but easy enough.  But now writing about bezoars and how they relate to the function of dragon’s blood makes her want to rip her hair out.  Taking up her quill she tries to think of something to say.

“It all sounds the same,” James mumbles dropping his head into his hands.  His forehead collides soundly with a stack of books about Charms, and patronus’ before him.  Groaning audibly he runs his hands roughly though his hair.

“Just summarize it all,” Lily tells him finishing a poorly worded sentence in her essay.  Maybe Slughorn wouldn’t notice.

“How?” Looking up over the rim of his glasses at her, Lily feels her heart develop a murmur again. Drat.  

Rolling her eyes Lily tucks her hair over one shoulder. “James.  You are a seventh year; I know that you know how to write an essay.”

“You are a terrible study partner,” he grips.  Slowly sitting up he drums his fingers on the table.

“So Remus does your all your work for you?”  She asks amused.  As kind as Remus is, he is still a Marauder and therefor a giant prat at least eighty percent of the time.

“He at least point’s me in the right direction,” James says.

“Start by writing all that you know about the patronus charm and go from there,” Lily replies.  Not getting anywhere on her potions work she shuts the book she was using.  “You can produce a protronus right?  So just talk about that process and the memories you use to make one, why those ones work and why others don’t.”

“If only it were so easy,” he says sourly.

Smirking Lily collects the books she won’t need and goes off to put them away.  When they first started studying together, it was more of a collaboration of heads work.  Her excuse was that if they started working on the next schedule for rounds and it casually turned into him helping her figure out how to get that darned tortoise pattern off of her teapot for transfiguration, it was a win-win situation. And then it turned into the outright admittance that she needed help.  And he still can’t get the wand work down for disillusionment charm.  It was a mutual need.  Nothing more, nothing less.  Even if they meet four times a week now for two to three hours.  There was nothing else to it.

Yet, Lily can’t help but feel a little disappointed.  Having come to realize that she liked James, he fact that he hadn’t asked her out once and it was almost Christmas makes her feel strange.  It was nice to have that idea in the back of her mind that someone was fascinated with her.  Even if James could be a creep at the same time.  She realizes that James has changed just as she asked him to.  It just pushed him farther from her.

He practically materializes next to her and takes a few of the books to put away.  Shoving them in random places he hums softly.

“James, you aren’t even trying to put those away properly,” she chides with a laugh.

“Oh c’mon, we bother know Madam Pince loves being able to come back and spend some personal time with all her books,” he replies and stuffs a charms book atop the books on pepper up potions.

They laugh together, at the truthfulness of the statement.  He catches her eye and they share a look.  For some reason, she cannot identify, she focuses on his lips. The thought crosses her mind of what it would be like to kiss him.  Sweet Agrippa, does he notice? She hopes not that would be mortifying.  They are friends.  Friends don’t mentally kiss each other without consent.

It’s in that moment he reaches a hand out, realizing what he’s doing, James looks away, quickly dropping his hand.  Before she realizes what she’s doing, she grabs his hand in one of hers and places it gently on her cheek before lifting up on her toes to kiss him.  She’ll blame it on that stereotypical impulsive redhead gene.  But right now, even though he’s confused as a hippogriff at a tea party, that kiss is fantastic.  It is quick, warm, sweet.  Not at all what she was expecting, but it was mostly her going into it.  If he was the one to instigate it, she’s sure there would be much more involved.  But she doesn’t mind.  For her this kiss concisely defines her feelings and change of heart.  

When her senses return to her she pulls away dropping his hand.  His eyes bulge behind his glasses, mouth slightly agape.  Patting his cheek, she can feel the stubble of a day’s worth of grown and the warm glow of a blush. “You might want to blink; I hear your eyes can fall out without enough moisture.”

She goes to turn away but he grabs her hand and suddenly she’s facing him again.  Closer than before, their foreheads touch and breath mingles.  Meeting his gaze with as much confidence that she can muster she waits.  His eyes flicker behind his glasses searching for something.

“Lily?” he’s uncertain, slow and cautious.  Her heart is hammering in her chest as she realizes that in all the ways he’s changed it has never taken him from her.

She smiles coyly and hopes that gleam of mischief she’s seen in his eyes so much is captured within her own. “If you don’t I will.”

That’s all the answer he needs.

.*.*.*

a/n So this is the first fanfiction I have written in YEARS.  Seriously, like 4 years.  It’s my first time doing 3rd person while in present tense, usually I am really hesitant with a narration like that so I hope it works.  Anyway, I hope you enjoyed!  

[worldupdatereviews2017-blog]

The Samsung Galaxy S8: Splendor Comes at a Rate

New Post has been published on https://worldupdatereviews.com/the-samsung-galaxy-s8-splendor-comes-at-a-rate/

The Samsung Galaxy S8: Splendor Comes at a Rate

The Samsung Galaxy S8 is, fingers down, the quickest, the first-class-looking phone you can buy, Android or in any other case. Its design is a meticulous marvel, curved glass and shrinking pinnacle and backside bezels taking into consideration tremendous amounts probably the greatest display space. However, it’s additionally very pricey and is derived with some downsides. Is it for you? Study on.

The display

The S8’s OLED display beats something else in the marketplace. The Pixel XL, which become formerly the excellent-searching telephone around, way to a vibrant OLED display, can’t healthy it in size — the smaller S8 has a bigger display screen than the Pixel XL. It does this by way of shrinking down the bezels on the top and bottom top-of-the-line the phone to next to not anything, even as the use of curved glass to get rid of any bezel at the facet. And Samsung’s OLED screen simply looks better than the Pixel’s display screen as well. Samsung says it’s the primary “Cellular HDR Top rate” telephone to be had. HDR, or excessive dynamic range, is the contemporary buzzword in video presentations, and usually manner that a display is in a position to reveal top-of-the-linef a greater variety of colors and brightness on the same time. In the exercise, this intended that after I played the identical film at the Pixel XL and S8+, facet by way of aspect, the S8+ turned into incredibly better at displaying the most effectivef excessive-evaluation scenes, along with a scene with a brilliant light shining thru a darkish room. Night time scenes had been easier to see, and in widespread, hues simply had more pop. The distinction was even extra stark while gambling a film on an iPhone 7 Plus, which nonetheless among the best old-college Lcd monitors.

One aspect to notice: via default, the S8 screen is surely set to 1080p resolution — you’ll want to jump into the settings to position the phone into its full excessive-decision glory, this means that a moderate overall performance hit at the telephone.

backside line: There isn’t a better smartphone screen to be had — and there may not be a better one till Samsung releases its subsequent Galaxy smartphone. Samsung really seems to have a lock on creating OLED monitors which can be without delay and manifestly among the finest a higher excellent than the oppositions.

The smartphone

The real phone itself feels excellent in hand, but the curved back and front glass additionally made me sense distinctly apprehensive even as using it on the subway or a sidewalk with out a case. In case you use it one-passed, you want to maintain a barely tighter grip on the telephone, although it’s lighter than its competitors. And, at least at the S8+ I examined, that tall screen meant it was a chunk among the best a reach for me to get to the pull-down display on the top top-of-the-line the telephone, where you manage pretty a great deal everything in Android. you could at least relaxation a bit less difficult about drops across the sink and/or bathroom — the cellphone is rated as water- and dirt-resistant, which means it could be dunked in approximately five ft top-of-the-line water for 30 minutes with out harm.

Samsung’s Android skin, TouchWiz, has calmed down extensively from in advance days, whilst it seemed so disturbing to place some daylight between itself and vanilla Android OS that it created a miles worse usual experience than only a clean install probably the greatest Android. Fortunately, those days are over — though, it’s still now not clear if Samsung will keep lagging at the back of in Android updates. The phone ships with Android 7.zero, but the latest version one of the best Android is 7.1.2 — which could probably be a safety difficulty, particularly If you’re downloading apps from anywhere other than Google Play or the Galaxy Apps store.

There’s nevertheless a few overlap among Samsung and Google’s offerings (as an example, Samsung has its very own web browser you may use, rather than Chrome), But for the most part, it’s a totally intuitive cell phone with a few capabilities that Google’s very own Pixel telephones could be smart to steal (the capacity to interchange among battery-saver and high overall performance mode on the fly, for instance). There are nonetheless moments, however, in which the anxiety between Samsung manifestly trying to have its personal OS and wanting to be on Android emerge as clean, consisting of its app search main you to a page that suggests you what different Galaxy customers like — which then takes you to a Google Play page to in reality buy it. It’s Samsung placing itself inside the process without tons benefit, besides to remind you which you’re using a Samsung cellphone.

The heart top-of-the-line the telephone are, the usage of the ultra-modern Snapdragon processor, that means that the phone itself feels snappier than the Pixel whilst opening apps. It also boasts a faster cellular modem than every other cell phone in the marketplace, which supposed — as a minimum on the LTE T-Cellular community I was checking out it on — that I got slightly quicker download and upload speeds than at the equal T-Cell network on my Pixel. (However handiest slightly, and velocity assessments — particularly top-of-the-line cell facts — are notoriously kinda squishy.)

The Camera

Is quite top! In quick checks in opposition to the Pixel and the iPhone 7 Plus, the S8+’s 12-megapixel rear Digicam appeared to take better photos in low mild; in any other case, the distinction in picture first-rate between the three became negligible — the essential variations in cell phone cameras specifically come into play from the software program and processing.

At this point, barring some revolution in how Digicam optics paintings, when you’re paying greater than $seven-hundred for a smartphone, you’re possibly going to get an excellent Camera as a way to take very good pix. nonetheless, to Samsung’s credit score, you may mess around with the settings a chunk greater in its Digicam app, in comparison to the Pixel or iPhone, and its native photo-modifying app is more complete-featured than Google or Apple’s as properly.

The Battery

Firstly, to address the primary question you possibly have approximately the brand new Samsung cell phone: No, it hasn’t stuck hearth. The S8 comes with a 3,000 mAh battery, and the S8+ comes with a 3,500 mAh battery. Each is decent-length batteries, But never astoundingly huge — the S8+’s battery is virtually smaller than remaining yr’s S7 Area three,seven-hundred mAh battery. It seems likely that Samsung becomes extraordinarily careful about battery length this time around, willing to keep a smaller battery in the region in alternate for a phone much less in all likelihood to head increase within the Night.

I found that an S8+ ought to run for twenty-four hours with regular use (i.E., texting, some internet surfing, playing the occasional game or podcast). Streaming a Netflix movie at full brightness with each video choice turned up manner high (you may play with a stunning amount of the finest settings for the Samsung’s display, along with how excessive you need the resolution to head) would drain approximately 15 percentage among the finest the battery per hour, which means an impressive six hours probably the greatest video playtime. In brief, while it’s in all likelihood Samsung ought to have positioned more battery in the phone, what’s in there’ll probably be greater than enough to get you thru the day.

The Sound

Samsung has a few very fancy verbiage claiming that it is able to deliver better sounding audio than other phones. I tried out a few FLACs (essentially, truly audio documents) with a few high-give up headphones at the S8+ versus the Pixel XL, and couldn’t virtually inform tons distinction — But maybe virtually tough-center audiophiles could. (Of direction, simply tough-center audiophiles can convince themselves something sounds higher if it expenses more, so.)

What does sound highly higher are the protected earbuds, a $ninety nine pair probably the greatest AKGs made particularly for the S8. In case you’re simply into headphones, you possibly have a nicer pair — But those have a terrific sound, a material twice so that they don’t tangle as effortlessly, and are a step above something else protected in Top class smartphones. (It also means, as ought to be stated, that the S8 has a three.5-mm audio jack, so that you don’t ought to go wireless If you don’t want to.) The outside speaker is satisfactory — it can get pretty loud — But sounds quite tinny. It’ll do for a speaker smartphone call, But you aren’t gonna use it to play music.

The S8 is the primary phone to use Bluetooth five.zero, which must theoretically be cool some day. There aren’t any patron objects out there presently using this general, which is meant to lessen quite a few the headaches related to Bluetooth pairing and amplify the range, so, for now, it’s truly fine to have. That stated, I did find that the S8 paired effortlessly with the Bluetooth 4.1 and four.2 wi-fi headphones — a lot simpler than my Pixel, even though not as seamlessly as what Apple can gain with its W1 chip found in Beats and AirPods. A nice bonus: the ability to pair two units the most effective wireless headphones to the equal smartphone. So If you’re caught on an extended flight looking a film for your smartphone with someone, or simply need to pay attention to the identical song, you’re set.

Bixby

It, uh, exists? I’ve yet to use a smartphone voice assistant that I really like, except for setting the occasional timer or once in a while responding to a textual content. Bixby, Samsung’s try to create its own Siri or Google Assistant, doesn’t exchange this, and is so far, at nice, a weird icon that pops up. Bixby is supposed to do 4 matters, simplest the most effective which I used to be able to attempt out. It creates a smart feed among the best information and personalised records, together with reminders you can set to be precipitated via time or area. It has something called Bixby Imaginative and prescient, which allows with the intention to use the Camera for visible search. It’ll, in some unspecified time in the future, permit for voice manipulate probably the greatest your phone — However doesn’t presently (Samsung says the feature is coming in spring). And it is also alleged to allow for manipulate top-of-the-line smart-domestic items in your home, However I wasn’t capable of do this out.

The clever feed, Bixby home, is presently a quite unimpressive glomming together the most effective stuff: your upcoming meetings and reminders approximately who you generally call at that point top-of-the-line day, a random GIF from Giphy, trending topics from Facebook, a Flipboard information Feed, and, uh, issues for your cell phone on the market from Samsung. Google and Apple do most among the finest this, However better.

Bixby Imaginative and prescient lets in for visual search, because of this you may both tap inside the Pinterest visual seek to show you things that sorta look like what you’re looking at, or factor it at things with honestly legible textual content — like a wine bottle or an e-book — and get facts on it and approaches you can purchase it. it can additionally scan QR codes, which is a slick, new technology that everyone loves the usage of.

The real bummer approximately the whole lot is, there’s a bodily button to deliver up Bixby — a button that you can’t reprogram, which rests without delay underneath the quantity controls. I might quick fix Bixby to at once open the telephone’s Digicam, But you currently can’t try this. C’est la Samsung.

Who ought to Get It

All top one of the best who’s limping alongside on a Galaxy S5 or S6 should take the plunge. You’re already in the Samsung atmosphere, and the improvements in performance and display size will make themselves straight away recognized. It’s a more difficult name if you have the S7 or S7 Edge — Each is preserving up pleasant, and that I’d advocate staying positioned except you honestly need to have the contemporary and greatest Samsung.

If you’re in the marketplace for a Top rate smartphone, you basically have 4 alternatives proper now: the iPhone 7, the Google Pixel, the LG G6, and the Samsung S8. The iPhone 7 and Pixel are Each due for refreshes later this year, so buying them now while they’re nevertheless at full Rate seems silly.